HELPING THE HEROES

Transfers: Airport. Rail. Seaport. Chauffeur driven tours. Private & Business Travel.

1. 1969

We take the strain out of your journey. Relax in supreme comfort.

Executive travel at its best. Guaranteed!

Discounts For Armed Forces

www.tlc-hire.co.uk info@tlc-hire.co.uk

01254 877366 / 07968 153553 / 07968 153542

Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction to where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning round and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the pavement.

Harold & Ethel

“Ethel ?” asks Harold, “You didn’t just marry me for the two million pounds I inherited from my late

uncle George ?”

“Of course not,” replies Ethel. “ I would have married you no matter who left you the money !”

Poet Tree with Mist Aches.

I have a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea

It plainly marques for my revue Miss steaks eye cannot sea.

I yews a quay two right a word I weight for it to say

Weather eye am rong oar wright It shows me strait away.

As soon as a mist ache is made It nose bee four two late

And eye can put the errer rite It's reelly, reelly grate.

I've run this poem threw it I'm shore your pleezed to no It's letter perfect in it's weigh My chequer tolled me sew.

A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine, shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A while later a priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.

The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine." The priest Holy Water.

said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on

a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby." The little boy replied,

rub it on a cat's bum, he'll pass a Harley Davidson." Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Harwood House Glebe Street Great Harwood

The One Stop Hair and Beauty Shop

HAIR

Creative Cutting & Colouring, Perming, Hair Extensions.

NAILS

Gel, Acrylic, Nail Art, Manicure, Pedicure.

BEAUTY

Massage, Waxing, Eyelash/Eyebrow Tinting/Perming, Electrolysis, Facials, Make-Up etc.

TANNING

Powerful 225/235w Sunbed/Sunshower, Spray Tanning

All services on one level, Wheelchair friendly. Large Free Car Park Opposite.

Open 6 Days. Late Nights Thursday & Fridays Plus Other Nights by Appointment.

Gift Vouchers Available.

Long Term Promotions

20% Senior Citizen discounts Monday & Tuesday 20% off your next appointment with your first colour

01254 887530

www.parishairandbeauty.co.uk

Top Quality Golf Balls. Floodlit Golf. Putting Green. Grass Tees.

Free Golf Lessons for All Ages at Weekends.

Please ring for details. 01254 884222 www.lee-valley.co.uk

SELL YOUR SCRAP GOLD 01254 888292 One Stop Cash Shop, 39 Queen Street, Great Harwood, BB6 7QP

3.

Winning, or taking part!

Some time ago at the Seattle Olympics, nine athletes, all mentally or physically challenged, were standing at the start line for the 100 metre race. The gun fired and the race began. Not every one was running but every one wanted to participate and win. They ran in threes, a boy tripped and fell, did a few somersaults and started crying. The other eight heard him crying. They slowed down and looked behind them, they stopped and came back ….. All of them. A girl with Down’s Syndrome sat down next to him, hugged him and asked “Feeling better now”. Then all nine walked shoulder to shoulder to the finish line. The whole crowd stood up and applauded. And the applause lasted a very long time …. People who witnessed this still talk about it. Why? Because, deep down inside us, we all know that the most important thing in life is much more than winning for ourselves. The most important thing in this life is to help others to win. Even if that means slowing down and changing our own race. A candle loses nothing if it is used to light another one.

"You take some of this turpentine and

Producing our February edition was quite eventful when our computer

picked up a rather nasty virus. This turned our editor into a raging psychopath, upsetting the Heralds Angels. Sorry Girls ! Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36