Jeremy Clark
Welcome to our world, Heston Jeremy Clark checks out a designer cottage pie. Email your comments to:
clarkjeremy@hotmail.co.uk
I clutched the TV remote and muttering to myself, grimly went through the 8000 channels we seem to have these days hoping to find
something that didn’t involve fat celebrities swapping wives in the jungle or wannabe pop stars screeching like their gentlemen areas were caught in a revolving door. I love a good comedy and so I was delighted to come across the funniest show I have seen in a long time in which a Celebrity Chef attempted to revolutionise airline catering by achieving the unachievable. I refer of course to Heston Blumenthal’s programme on BA which most viewers will have found mildly entertaining but for those of us in the business has us either shouting at the TV or falling off our sofas with mirth. I will leave aside for a moment the obvious
fact that many flights that used to cater decent food, now don’t. He could have tackled that. I did though, watch with incredulity as he attempted to get a fine, competent and highly experienced bunch of BA crew to assemble 3 Michelin Star style dishes in a B777 galley with no knives, and a working surface area of about 2 sq ft. Result: Utter chaos. Then, like an epiphany, poor Heston realised
what the Flight Catering was for and why everything is prepared to finality before loading. And, figuring that cold food was easier to manage than those pesky ovens which cremate anything put near them, he created trays of chilled “taste experiences” which only required the crew to dip slivers of some sort of jelly into green tea powder and dress a highly complicated tray with 13 different “sensations”. The result looked like a kids playset rather than food but according to passengers was very tasty. The bit that had me weeping with laughter was the requirement of all passengers to administer a nasal douche before eating to help the taste buds do their work. “Lovely,” <sniff> they said.
As an Exec Chef in previous lives I do understand the urge to experiment but with 33+ years in this business, I know as you do that pretty much every avenue of experimentation has been well trodden. Finally, Heston worked with Gate Gourmet’s
chef Stephen Walpole to create a Cottage Pie that you can actually taste. The finished product included shitake mushrooms, best quality Parmesan, seaweed and other fine ingredients all of which boost the taste receptors and was well received. However, there was one glaring issue missing from this show. The Elephant in the Room. The “C” word. Cost. If I may get serious for a moment, one key reason airline food has the reputation it does is totally self inflicted. Despite the best efforts of caterers world wide to achieve the miracle
of a decent dining experience at 30,000 ft, the airlines fanatical cost-cutting over the past 15 years has all but made it impossible. When I worked for Pan Am in the 80’s we served the best New York Centre-cut Filet to be found anywhere on the ground or the air. But not cheap. So I doff my hat to British Airways who elected to be Heston’s guinea pig for this exercise. I just hope that their willingness to appear genuine in the attempt to improve food service is backed up by investment. Because as hilarious as this show was, the best line went to the nice lady on BA’s taste team who said “It is so important to us that passengers get quality and don’t go hungry “. Such a shame she wasn’t next to me on my 12.40 BA flight to Nice for ITCA, to witness lunch which consisted of a single, miniscule packet of crisps. It was however, beautifully served!
www.onboardhospitality.com 25
www.nickbremer.com
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