5 MINUTES
with DR. LAURA SCHLESSINGER
Self-Care Is Not Selfish T
his is a “heal thyself” interlude. Many people call to say they no longer love their spouse, or no longer like their work, or no
longer want to deal with a friend or family member or coworker, or no longer like where they live, or no longer feel enthusiastic about things in their lives that used to bring some satisfaction. Sometimes spouses, friends, family members,
coworkers, and neighbors can become an excessive burden with their demands, expectations, and ongoing problems. Considering these truths, it
makes sense that you can feel enough is enough. Yet at times like this, it is
probably because you rarely, if ever, refi ll yourself. Maybe you feel guilty for taking time for yourself because you see it as selfi sh intent instead of a necessary act. Listen up: Without
refi lling you won’t be able to do even the things you love to do. Without refi lling you will develop resentment for those around you, whether or not they are acting directly to drain you. Without refi lling you will misunderstand your own feelings by assuming the problem is in the relationship and not in your own self-care. Think about it this way: If you are exhausted, then even your dog or cat coming to cuddle may seem like an annoyance — and you push them away. The same will happen with all your relationships and productivity and even your own hobbies.
Hobbies are supposed to challenge and calm and
nourish you. Even hobbies won’t work to elevate your spirits if you are so strained and burned out from all the other aspects of your life. Self-care is not selfi sh. Self-care is the act of
replenishing yourself so that you can go back to being the giving, happy, functioning person you were. It is easy to lose sight of what you need when you
have so many responsibilities and so little time. So, this might require a bit of pruning. Consider the hierarchy of what is truly important and be willing to eliminate what overburdens you without getting angry at yourself
70 NEWSMAX MAXLIFE | MAY 2022
for not being superhuman. Even robots/androids can have circuits overloaded.
When you add emotional swings and responses to life and others, it gets even more challenging. I choose to write about this today because this is
what I am currently facing. I have many responsibilities, have gone through some health annoyances including gum surgery — twice (ugh), and the list goes on. I realized this morning that the reason I haven’t
slept well for about three nights has to do with being overly tired. Overly tired infants don’t sleep — they cry because it is diffi cult for them to self-comfort. The overly tired feeling is overwhelming. They don’t understand what is happening, so it is most unsettling and upsetting. Adults frequently don’t
recognize the cause of their symptoms either, and ironically are often resistant to the notion that they have limitations. We all have a limit. We all
have to respect that limit in ourselves and others. The fi rst thing is to
acknowledge you are emotionally drained. Second is to talk it out with someone who will simply listen and not shower you with advice. Third is to assess your
current life schedule. It might amuse you if you were to write down what a typical day/week is like hour by hour. You will
probably shock yourself. Fourth is to be brutal with that schedule of activities
and obligations and cut it down. Now think of what refi lls you. What brings you peace
and joy? What makes you feel less pressured and more uplifted? Gardening? A motorcycle ride? Hike? Painting class? A short weekend getaway? Taking up the fl ute? Swimming? What? Eliminate something from the pressured list and substitute a peace and joy activity. Well, that is enough for now. I am going to the marina and preparing for a sail!
Listen to Dr. Laura on SiriusXM Channel 111, Mon.–Sat. 2–6pm ET, Sun. 5–9pm ET.
SHUTTERSTOCK/MARY LONG
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