T as


he first trimester of a pregnancy, with its nausea, breast tenderness and exhaustion, is


often a time of decreased sexual desire for the newly pregnant. The excitement of the second trimester, when the baby begins making its presence felt and the nausea dissipates, may lead to a rekindling of sexual intimacy. And then, there’s the endless third trimester. “I felt like a cow,” says 34-year-old mother of three Winnie Twala about the final few months of her last pregnancy. “My husband loved my bigger breasts but they felt like udders to me. I also had swollen ankles and hectic heartburn.”


It’s not unusual for


pregnant women to feel large, uncomfortable and decidedly unsexy


they near term.


And even for those who feel fabulous right up to the minute they give birth, sex isn’t automatically on the agenda. Lorissa February, 37, had an “easy” pregnancy with her last child. She says, “I felt healthy and glowing and completely ready for the baby.” However, she just wasn’t interested in sex at all.


Cristine Scolari, a Johannesburg based clinical psychologist, explains that expectant moms and those who’ve just given birth are going through a lot, both physically and emotionally. “While a woman may be able to have sex on a physical level, it’s sometimes more difficult to feel sexy on an emotional level,” she says. “Factors such as feeling overwhelmed or exhausted, being anxious or depressed, or not being happy with her body, all affect whether she feels sexual or wants to have sex.” IS IT PHYSICALLY SAFE TO HAVE


44 YOUR PREGNANCY (from conception to birth)


FOR MOST WOMEN, THE 40-ODD WEEKS OF PREGNANCY


IS SOMETHING OF A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE, WITH THEIR BODIES CHANGING ALMOST DAILY, HORMONES


PLAYING HAVOC WITH THEIR MOODS, AND EXHAUSTION A CONSTANT COMPANION. ONE OF THE VICTIMS OF THIS PERIOD CAN BE A COUPLE’S SEX LIFE, PARTICULARLY IN THE LAST TRIMESTER


BY TRACEY HAWTHORNE Images: Thinkstock


not tonight DEAR,


I’m about TO HAVE A


SEX IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER? Yes – in a normal pregnancy with no complications. “Sex will not hurt your baby or you,” says Catriona Boffard, a Joburg sexologist. In fact, she adds:


“Research shows that


sex during pregnancy helps to prevent premature birth.” There are a few conditions that would make it unsafe to have sex in the third trimester. These include placenta praevia, where the placenta lies low in the uterus, sometimes covering the cervix; if you have unexplained vaginal bleeding or an abnormal discharge; or if your waters have broken. And Catriona says that labour can’t be started by sex. “Your body won’t go into labour until it’s ready,” she explains. “The contractions you naturally experience during pregnancy are similar to those of orgasm, but it’s just the body’s way of preparing itself.” When it comes to things to avoid, Catriona says: “Don’t insert foreign objects into the vagina, such as foods or gels.”


WHICH POSITION?


The shape of a woman in the last stages of pregnancy will generally determine the sexual position you choose as you’ll want to keep his weight off your baby bump. “Spooning, with your back to his chest, will probably be the most comfortable,” says sexologist Catriona Boffard. You can also try lying side by side facing each other; sitting, with her on top; or him entering her from behind. Post-birth, and particularly if you had a c-section, these positions are also suitable for when you begin having sex again.


baby!


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