ONE


MINUTE MOORE


Losers! This is pathetic


RANDALL MOORE


Have you ever tried pulling a worm out of the ground? Not easy, is it? You have to be fast; you have to be smart. I tried it as a kid. I’d go to the golf course at night


with a flashlight. I thought I could make a few bucks selling worms to the lads fishing in the St. Lawrence. I failed. Miserably. The Cadieux kids from Cornwall – Kristopher,


Kristina and Clayton – know how to catch worms. They know how to make money selling them, too. “Worms For Sale: $2.50 a dozen,” reads the small sign


on their front lawn. Well, used to read. The sign was ordered removed by the Cornwall bylaw


police. Someone complained, anonymously of course: they’re anonymous and faceless. But one complaint was all it took – just as it was with


an outdoor rink in Cornwall and a little garden in Kanata. As it is with anything. One lousy complaint. The bylaw officer showed up


and ordered the worm sign removed, or those three outlaws would face a hefty fine. This is embarassing. It’s pathetic. The kids’ dad, Robert, had told his little entrepreneurs,


“You gotta put the effort in to pick worms.” So they did, often late at night at around 10, when the


worms were ripe for pickin’. And what were their friends doing when Kristopher,


Kristina and Clayton were outside working and getting their hands all yucky? Playing video games, no doubt. The Cadieux kids can still sell worms. But only


indoors. Oh, right. That’s smart. Kids inviting strangers into


their house. Having coolers of worms in the kitchen. I want to strangle the adults making these stupid rules


– the rule-makers and the loser who complained. What’s next? A ban on lemonade stands? Wouldn’t be surprised.


70 BOUNDER MAGAZINE www.bounder.ca


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