DELMER & CECIL
Down at the barbershop (With the guys: Vern, Hubert, Harold, and Basil)
DELMER AND CECIL
Delmer: Gidday, lads! How’s she hangin’? The guys: Gidday, Delmer! What’s new? Delmer: Garland Davis got a new spreader. Hubert: It ain’t new. I seen it. It’s Riley Brennan’s old one. Harold: Yeah. He told Mavis it was new, so he could keep the extra money she thinks he spent. He’s gonna buy a new rifle for deer season. Vern: Smart lad, that Garland. Hubert: I don’t have to pussyfoot around my wife. I do what I want. If I want to get somethin’, I just go out and get it. I wear the pants in MY house. Vern: Like last year, when you wanted a new pickup and Thelma wanted one o’ them upholstered roller skates from Korea? Who won that one, huh? Basil: He’s got ya there, Hubert. Hubert: Gets good gas mileage… Delmer: I’ll tellya one thing. I’ll be glad when this election’s over. Let’s get back to somethin’ important, like hockey. Basil: I think they should settle it the old fashioned way, Gerry Barber style. They should all get into a ring and duke it out. Last one standing wins. Delmer: It would probably be Elizabeth May. Hubert: Who’s Elizabeth May? Basil: Don’t you know anything about the election, Hubert? Vern: Yeah, Hubert. You been livin’ in a culvert, or what? Hubert: Well if you guys are so smart, why don’t you explain it? Delmer: Okay. You got three people who wanna be top dog in the country and run the show, see? Basil: I think it’s four. Delmer: Might be five. Basil: Who’s the fifth? Delmer: Garney Lafevre. Basil. Nah. He’s runnin’ for Reeve. That’s different. Vern: Who’s Justin Trudeau? Delmer: He’s a part-time drama teacher with nice hair from
48 BOUNDER MAGAZINE
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