HEALTH continued from page 8
rarely wear pointed shoes and, as opposition hockey players could have attested, I never went into the corners. Following x-rays and
a consultation with an orthopedist, I discovered this is potentially no trivial matter. Serious bunion problems can affect the other toes, cause nail problems, calluses and impede balance. For some, bunions are so painful they require surgery to sheer off the bump (the medical term being Bumpium Cutibus). The big toe is reset to point ahead and the foot is in a cast for a few weeks. I know people who’ve had
the surgery and the post-op is long and painful. One fellow, a marathoner, took about six months to get back to the road and decent training speed. Worse, it doesn’t always work, and the big toe, with a mind of its own, sometimes reverts to its old self. According to the Harvard Medical School health publication, recurrence happens in about 16 per cent of surgeries. Our crack team of Bounder
researchers have found only the flimsiest of evidence that big Paul himself had bunions. Even the Bangor statue shows him wearing boots. Seems no one back then was brave enough to smirk at what might have been bad feet. So really, I’m in decent
company. As long as I do like Paul, and keep my feet covered.
Richard Bercuson is an Ottawa writer who can still run or skate in a straight line. He also isn’t entirely sure the Tooth Fairy doesn’t exist.
www.bounder.ca BOUNDER MAGAZINE 19 I n t r o d u c t i o n s
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