COMMUNITY
Finding the Right Words
This article previews the book ‘The Family has been Informed’ by Dr Helen Mackinnon of Winston’s Wish who support families in the Armed Forces through a specialist child bereavement programme.
Some people don’t want to think about the possibility that a child may lose a parent on operations. If so, please miss this article out. If you wish to be reassured that appropriate and sensitive procedures are in place to support family members during such a traumatic time in their lives, read on, as you may find the article of comfort.
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ased on years of clinical and practical experience, The family has been Informed aims to guide and
complement efforts of parents, carers, teachers and other professionals as well as offer practical ideas and support for a child(ren) following the trauma of a parent losing their life on active service.
The book provides an overview of the process and experiences involved and gives insight to relatives, friends and schools who might be less familiar with the unique challenges that service families face. It also suggests practical activities for families as they begin to make sense of what has
Envoy Autumn 2013
happened and explore ways in which the family can learn to cope and move forward.
“I was four and a half years old when my father was killed on active service, so I know only too well how Winston’s Wish helps those who have lost loved ones,” said Bryn Parry, Co-Founder of Help for Heroes. “You never forget losing a parent but, in time and with the right support, life does get better”.
Excerpts from the book
Never too young to know Many adults find it difficult to talk about death with children and it can be tempting to try and shield them from pain. However,
it is really important that children have a clear understanding that the person has died. Even young children need to know what has happened to someone important in their lives if they are not coming back. Nothing you can say will make it worse – the worst has already happened.
It is also a natural reaction to want to spare children from learning how the death happened by making up some other explanation. However, when there has been a death in service, the media is likely to be involved and the story will probably become public knowledge. It is much better for children and young people to hear the news from you in a calm and accurate way rather than from rumour or from another child in the
www.raf-ff.org.uk
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