BEHAVIOUR CHANGE
Autobiography in Five Chapters, by Portia Nelson
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost… I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I’m in the same place. But it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it there. I still fall in… it’s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.
I walk down another street. The skills, knowledge and attitude needed to help in
this way require study, experience and refl ective practice. Some fi rst steps include:
• Helpful speaking involves using refl ective statements to refl ect back the client’s own words and summarise key
Learn to listen: Listen more than you speak.
• Unhelpful speaking includes giving opinions, passing judgements or sarcastic comments that humiliate, ridicule
aspects of their conversation. or shame. These interfere strongly with learning and growth.
• Every choice they make is an opportunity for them to learn something about themselves, building their autonomy
• Every choice someone else makes strengthens their reliance and dependence on others, reducing personal
and personal power.
power. If the helper gets it wrong, they set the person up for failure and themselves up for blame.
A helpful attitude: Strengthen your attitude for compassion and trust in people. Hold hope for the person, so they can hold this for themselves when they are ready. Remember it is the person being coached, not you, who
has experienced their own life and struggles. Get to know their world as they experience it and let go of the need to judge based on your own views. Help them see the positive things they do and the resources they have/are building, rather than focusing on what they are not doing. This will help the person see themselves less critically.
Self-awareness: Be open to exploring and learning more about your own prejudices. We all make judgements. The more mindful and self-aware we become, the greater will be the potential for empathy for others
48
Debbie Lawrence, MA, PG Dip Integrative Counselling, has worked in the fi tness industry for the last 30 years, as a practitioner, teacher trainer, consultant and writer for various training providers and awarding organisations. She is a qualifi ed integrative counsellor and the author of 13 books published by Bloomsbury Publishing, including The Complete Guide to Exercise Referral, The Complete Guide to Activity and Mental Health, and The Complete Guide to Behaviour Change. She delivers the Level 4 qualifi cation Activity for Persons with Mental Health Conditions and is now working with Active IQ as qualifi cation development manager. Web:
www.debbiellawrence.com LinkedIn:
www.linkedin.com/profi le/view?id=99259822&trk=hb_tab_pro_top Facebook:
www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Moving-Minds-Project-with-Debbie-L- Lawrence/127822057300423 Facebook:
www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Debbie-Lawrence- Writer/162353727181046
www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Debbie-Lawrence-Writer/162353727181046
www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Moving-Minds-Project-with-Debbie-L-Lawrence/127822057300423
Read Health Club Management online at
healthclubmanagement.co.uk/digital May 2013 © Cybertrek 2013
Release control and build independence: Do we really know what’s right for someone else? Facilitate participative working, give the person some control, encourage their independence and provide opportunities for them to self-assess, evaluate and build self-reliance. Open questions can help this process – eg ‘Why do you believe you’re thinking about that now?’ and ‘How important is that for you?’ Then listen and let them choose.
– and ultimately, one’s own self. Many counsellors have supervision to help them explore their blocks that may form barriers to effective working.
Develop your knowledge: Keep learning. There are numerous courses and books that explain psychological theories and behaviour change models. Be eclectic and learn about many approaches.
One step at a time Learning to work in a person-centred way is about developing a helpful attitude. Accepting and respecting the person, their life journey, experiences, struggles, successes and failures without judgement has the potential to help them see themselves with less judgement. When the person accepts all aspects of themselves they
can listen, learn, self-challenge and choose. They can seek out choices that refl ect their movement towards greater self-care; not all at once, but small steps. ●
Building self-acceptance helps maintain long- term motivation
PHOTO:
SHUTTERSTOCK.COM
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76 |
Page 77 |
Page 78 |
Page 79 |
Page 80 |
Page 81 |
Page 82 |
Page 83 |
Page 84