I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Archimedes, the well known truth-seeker,
Jumping out of his bath, cried "Eureka!"
He ran half a mile, Wearing only a smile,
And became the worlds very first streaker.
Write us a Limerick. See page 12.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 10. Queen
With the Masters at Augusta last month, where we saw a dramatic and painfully unfortunate last round collapse by the young Rory Mcllroy ……… the golf season is now in full swing. So we thought it was a good time for a little golfing story. The Dead Parrot. At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead." "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?" "From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod." "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?" "Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse. " "Dead horse? What dead horse?" "The thoroughbred, Senor Rod." "My prize thoroughbred is dead?" "Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?" 8.
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor." "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?" "The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught fire." "What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!" "Yes, Senor Rod." "But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?" "For the funeral, Senor Rod." "WHAT BL**DY FUNERAL??!!" "Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft." SILENCE........... LONG
SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE. "Ernesto, if you broke that driver, YOU ARE DEAD !"
2.
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