Ahhhhh Canada. A Canadian is a fellow wearing English tweeds, a Hong Kong shirt and Spanish shoes, who sips Brazilian coffee sweetened with Philippine sugar from a Bavarian cup, while nibbling Swiss cheese, sitting at a Danish desk over a Persian rug, after coming home in a German car from an Italian Restaurant ….. Then writes to his member of Parliament with a Japanese ball point pen on French paper, demanding that they do something about foreigners taking away Canadian jobs.
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There once was a fly on the wall I wonder why didn't it fall Because its feet stuck Or was it just luck
Or does gravity miss things so small?
Have a go. See page 12.
"Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead." "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?" "Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse. " "Dead horse? What dead horse?" "The thoroughbred, Senor Rod." "My prize thoroughbred is dead?" "Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
The Evening News is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor." "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?" "The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught fire." "What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!" "Yes, Senor Rod." "But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?" "For the funeral, Senor Rod." "WHAT BL**DY FUNERAL??!!" "Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft." SILENCE.... LONG
SILENCE.....VERY LONG SILENCE. "Ernesto, if you broke that driver, YOU ARE DEAD !"
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