ARE YOU A POET, BUT DID’NT KNOW IT ? YOU MIGHT NEVER KNOW IF YOU DON’T HAVE A GO. Where does the term 'Limerick' come from? The word derives from the Irish town of Limerick. Apparently a pub song or tavern chorus based on the refrain "Will you come up to Limerick?" where, of course, such bawdy songs or 'Limericks' were sung. Admittedly the content of Limericks can often verge on the indecent, the dirty, or even the obscene, but they make people laugh! Limericks are easy to remember! Limericks are short and no great talent is necessary to compose one - They are a form of poetry that everyone feels happy to try (especially when inebriated!). Shakespeare even wrote Limericks! Limericks as a form of poetry has survived the test of time dating back for centuries! And whilst the poetic and literary skills of Shakespeare are not necessary for the composition of a limerick the great Bard himself did in fact write limericks which can be found in two of his greatest plays - Othello and King Lear. Edward Lear's Book of Nonsense included the poetry form of Limericks. The first edition of his Book of Nonsense was published on 10th February 1846. There were altogether 72 limericks in two volumes which sold at 3s 6d each. Fancy a go at our Limerick Competition. Write us a Limerick about the Herald Magazine. If you impress us we will publish the best ones in our next edition and give you a mention. We might even find a small prize. Email to: info@thelocalherald.co.uk


The editor works till it’s dark,


His bite is no worse than his bark. He does what it takes To correct his mistakes,


But his jokes - they belong on the ark.


There was a sales lady called Lynn Who was so excessively thin They did her persuade, To drink lemonade


But she slipped through the straw and fell in. Danusza is head of accounts.


She sits there and types the amounts. She can feel quite ill


If you don’t pay your bill


She goes pale if you mention discounts. The artistic one is “Three D.”


It’s Deanna to you and to me. She’s never been late, The Ad’s to create.


And she tells us “For such a small Fee.” Now Debi ‘s our Padiham star,


She beats all her targets by far. Once Lynn had taught her She was like a duck to water,


She’s so good we’ve upgraded her car. Her name is Corinne, Mrs Burns,


We’re amazed at how quickly she learns And really quite soon, She’ll be over the moon,


When we pay all the commission she earns. Our Lancashire Lass, Becky Brew,


To the Burnley patch is really quite new. She’s well known of course From her radio source ,


A great addition to our Local Herald Crew.


Our new Local rep is Catherine. Her sense of direction is lean. They call her Sat Nav


We thought she should have, A map, so she’d know where she’s been. 12.


Our Geoff was a landlord before. Pulling pints for punters galore. He’s now got it made, He sells ad’s to the trade.


But he gets writers cramp, it’s quite sore. 5. Cher


Dream Clean Sharon McKavett & Ruth Nuttall came up with the idea of going into business together and came up with what they do best - Cleaning. Ruth works for the Social Services and Sharon has a seasonal business. Sharon and Ruth have years of experience in domestic cleaning but also offer the following services:- Dry cleaning collection and drop off . Prescriptions, shopping services, ironing, one off cleans and small office cleans. Reliable and trustworthy, friendly service, uniformed, trained and insured maids. From £8.50 per hour, minimum of 2 hours. Rates are inclusive of cleaning products. 7 days a week 9.00am—5.00 pm. Dream Clean will call out to any job, however small, for free, in home estimates, For more information and no obligation quotation Call Ruth 01282 779343. Sharon 07894 855 635.


A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.


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