Great fishing spot The Maguire twins had never known the likes before. Only two hours fishing and already the boat was full to overflowing with mackerel. 'Begad, we've struck a rare spot here,' said Mick.
'We must somehow try to remember this exact location for future reference.' 'Why don't we put an 'x' on the bottom of the boat so we'll know it exactly?' ventured Pat. 'No good,' said his brother. 'We might not get the same boat next time!
Job interview While being interviewed for a job, the personnel manager said to the Maguire brothers: 'We're going to give you a written examination. Ten questions. Whoever gets most right will get
the job.' Papers were produced and the boys set to work answering the general knowledge questions. When the time was up the personnel manager collected and marked the papers. 'Well,' said he, 'you've both got nine out of ten, but I'm giving Mick the job.' 'Why's that?' asked Pat. 'Well,' said the manager, 'you both got the same question wrong but he had: 'I don't know this one' and you had: 'Neither do I!'
Peace of mind for you and
your family Clitheroe Funeral Service make all the
difference when it really matters Suffering the loss of a family member or friend is something that words cannot describe - yet, as you know, it is precisely at this time that someone has to decide who will pay for the funeral and what the funeral arrangements are to be. That’s where Clitheroe Funeral Service Personal Funeral Plan can make all the difference.
Peace of mind for you and your family The benefit of choosing Clitheroe Funeral Service today is that the complete cost of a funeral and the arrangements that go with it are all taken care of - nobody need have the burden of a funeral bill to pay, nor the worry of having to make such detailed arrange- ments at such a stressful time.
An independent family funeral
director you can trust Clitheroe Funeral Service offer a choice of three funeral plans to suit your needs and wishes. Whichever you choose the plan will be carried out by an independent family funeral director who has a long and proud tradition of personal service within your community. You can be sure your independent family funeral director will appreciate and respect local customs and expectations whilst offering the highest level of service.
4.
A pre-payment guarantee By pre-paying for your funeral in advance you secure the cost of the funeral which includes the cost of the crematorium, Doctors fees, Minister and Funeral Directors’ services. Where burial is required Clitheroe Funeral Service contribute a sum equal to cremation disbursements to the cost.
How much for an advert 'Is that the Liverpool Echo?' said Murphy. 'It is.' 'How much would it be to put an advert in your paper?' 'Five pounds an inch,' replied the receptionist. Too dear!' snapped Murphy. 'Why? What are you selling?' 'A ten-foot ladder,'
Paddy asks the landlord , “Would you mind giving me a push ?” The landlord replied, “I’m trying to run a pub here , I haven't the time to come and give you a push. Why don’t you ring the AA if your broken down.” “I’m not broken down.” says Murphy. “I’m in the park on the swings.”
Why purchase a Clitheroe Funeral Service Pre-payment Plan?
• Provide for the cost of your funeral in advance
• Once paid, the cost of your Cremation Plan is guaranteed against inflation
• Choose your own cremation or burial arrangements, tailored according to your own personal wishes
• Payments in one lump sum or regular instalments
• Complete peace of mind for both you and your loved ones
Take the next step… For an informal discussion, more information or to request an information pack please call or telephone your local Clitheroe Funeral Service:
Clitheroe Funeral Service 10 - 12, Whalley Road, Clitheroe BB7 1AW Tel: 01200 443045
www.havenfuneralplans.co.uk Or complete the enquiry card and return by post.
Clitheroe Funeral Service A Local Independent Family Firm
To receive further details on Funeral Pre-Payment Plans, please complete your details below and return to:
Clitheroe Funeral Service 10 - 12, Whalley Road, Clitheroe. BB7 1AW
Title: ………….. 1st Name(s): ……………………………………… Surname: ……………………………………………………………… Address: ………………………………………………………………. ………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………… Postcode: …………………….. Date of Birth: ………………………………………………………….. Daytime telephone no: ………………………………………………...
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44