PREMIER AUTOBODIES LIMITED Paint & Body Centre ( Est, 1976 )
Great fishing spot The Maguire twins had never known the likes before. Only two hours fishing and already the boat was full to overflowing with mackerel. 'Begad, we've struck a rare spot here,' said Mick.
'We must somehow try to remember this exact location for future reference.' 'Why don't we put an 'x' on the bottom of the boat so we'll know it exactly?' ventured Pat. 'No good,' said his brother. 'We might not get the same boat next time!
Mazda MX5 Specialists, Owners Club Discount
Unit 7, Friendship Mill, Whalley Rd, Read BB12 7PN From a scratch to a full restoration. Our reputation is your guarantee. Paintless dent removal.
Motorcycle paintwork specialists.
www.motorcyclepaintwork.co.uk
Tel/Fax 01282 779104
The next door neighbour has just left his wife Florence after forty years of marriage because he found out she was having an affair with the plumber. He simply left her a note which read: “It’s over Flo.”
Peace of mind for you and
your family
Job interview While being interviewed for a job, the personnel manager said to the Maguire brothers: 'We're going to give you a written examination. Ten questions. Whoever gets most right will get
the job.' Papers were produced and the boys set to work answering the general knowledge questions. When the time was up the personnel manager collected and marked the papers. 'Well,' said he, 'you've both got nine out of ten, but I'm giving Mick the job.' 'Why's that?' asked Pat. 'Well,' said the manager, 'you both got the same question wrong but he had: 'I don't know this one' and you had: 'Neither do I!'
Bertwistles make all the difference
when it really matters Suffering the loss of a family member or friend is something that words cannot describe - yet, as you know, it is precisely at this time that someone has to decide who will pay for the funeral and what the funeral arrangements are to be. That’s where Bertwistles Personal Funeral Plan can make all the difference.
Peace of mind for you and your
family The benefit of choosing Bertwistles today is that the complete cost of a funeral and the arrangements that go with it are all taken care of - nobody need have the burden of a funeral bill to pay, nor the worry of having to make such detailed arrangements at such a stressful time.
An independent family funeral
director you can trust Bertwistles offer a choice of three funeral plans to suit your needs and wishes. Whichever you choose the plan will be carried out by an independent family funeral director who has a long and proud tradition of personal service within your community. You can be sure your independent family funeral director will appreciate and respect local customs and expectations whilst offering the highest level of service.
4.
A pre-payment guarantee By pre-paying for your funeral in advance you secure the cost of the funeral which includes the cost of the crematorium, Doctors fees, Minister and Funeral Directors’ services. Where burial is required Bertwistles contribute a sum equal to cremation disbursements to the cost.
Why purchase a Bertwistles Funeral Pre-payment Plan?
• Provide for the cost of your funeral in advance
• Once paid, the cost of your Cremation Plan is guaranteed against inflation
• Choose your own cremation or burial arrangements, tailored according to your own personal wishes
• Payments in one lump sum or regular instalments
• Complete peace of mind for both you and your loved ones
Take the next step… For an informal discussion, more information or to request an information pack please call or telephone your local Bertwistles Funeral Home:
BERTWISTLES FUNERAL HOME 46, Burnley Road, Padiham. BB12 8BN Tel: 01282 771628
www.havenfuneralplans.co.uk Or complete the enquiry card and return by post.
Bertwistles A Local Independent Family Firm
To receive further details on Funeral Pre-Payment Plans, please complete your details below and return to:
Bertwistles Funeral Home 46, Burnley Road, Padiham. BB12 8BN
Title: ………….. 1st Name(s): ……………………………………… Surname: ……………………………………………………………… Address: ………………………………………………………………. ………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………… Postcode: …………………….. Date of Birth: ………………………………………………………….. Daytime telephone no: ………………………………………………...
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