A
frog goes into a bank and ap-
40
proaches the teller. He can see from her name- plate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty ex- plains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" (you're gonna love this) The bank manager looks back at her and says... "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Roll- ing Stone." (You're singing it, aren't
you? Yeah, I know you are........) Never take life too seri- ously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting 'I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the col- our of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from be- ing respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimina- tion against not only blondes, but women in
general...and all in the name of humour!' The embarrassed ven- triloquist begins to apolo- gize, and the blonde yells, 'You stay out of this mis- ter! I'm talking to that little swine on your lap.'
A
few minutes before the church services
started, the congregation was sitting in their pews talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and run- ning for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon the church was empty except for one eld- erly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivi- ous to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?' The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.' 'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked. 'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man. 'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan. 'Don't doubt it for a min- ute,' returned the old man, in an even tone. 'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AG- ONY for all eternity?' per- sisted Satan. 'Yep,' was the calm reply. 'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan. 'Nope,' said the old man. More than a little per- turbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?' The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sis- ter for 48 years.'
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50