THE WEIRS TIMES, Thursday, July 15, 2010 A
brendan@weirs.com
inNEW HAMP SHI R E MORE SCRATCH TICKETS
FOOL * Live Free *A FLATLANDER’S OBSERVATIONS ON LIFE or Die.
by Brendan Smith Weirs Times Editor
With all the changes
happening these days in New Hampshire, it’s only fair that the state lottery commission come up with some new and exciting themed scratch tickets to celebrate our “change.” The most obvious new scratch ticket would hon- or our new state fruit, the pumpkin. (I know that I’m going to snack on one as soon as I finish this col- umn, if I could find one). Scratch off three pump-
kins and win a prize. Find “The Big Pumpkin” in the “Pumpkin Patch” window and be entered into a drawing to have a chance to name our state veg- etable. At then end of the game, all “Big Pumpkin” winners will be invited to the State House to pres- ent their ideas to the leg- islature who will, in turn, spend days and thou- sands of dollars trying to figure out who is the win- ner. In case of a tie, the Executive Council will call a special joint session and burn the midnight oil un- til a vegetable is decided upon. It would only be fair
that if there is a pump- kin scratch ticket, there should be an apple ci- der scratch ticket. The governor recently signed the bill making the des- ignation of apple cider as the state drink a law. I’m not sure but I think that
means that anyone who wrongly calls say, milk, the state drink, could be subject to arrest. I’ll have to look that up. I’m not sure how the
apple cider scratch ticket would work but I’m sure the creative folks at the Lottery Commission will come up with another exciting and original way to play. Maybe scratch off three identical apples and win a prize. They must stay up
nights thinking of these things. Of course, the Brand-
ing of New Hampshire is a hot topic so what better way to celebrate our new identity, what- ever that might be, with a scratch ticket. There are a lot of options open for this one but we’ll have to wait until that market- ing company in Florida spends our $200,000 be- fore we know what it is. Perhaps we could throw a few hundred thousand their way to come up with the scratch ticket idea as well. Heaven knows New Hampshire is just rolling in the dough. And speaking of roll-
ing in the dough. Per- haps a scratch ticket that could help solve the state’s budget problems. It’s pretty simple really. A $50 scratch ticket that promises big payouts and a high percentage of win- ning that doesn’t actu- ally have any winners. Of
course, we would pawn this ticket off on unsus- pecting tourists who will be flocking to the Granite State because of our new identity. Of course, all this guar- anteed income without ex- penses would go directly into the education fund where it will be available to use for anything, just like other dedicated funds in the state. A whole slew of scratch
tickets celebrating new laws would always be fun. We could have the boat speed limit scratch tick- et where scratching off three 45-miles per hour seals would win a prize. Of course if you try to cash the ticket in at night it wouldn’t be valid. You’d have to be paying atten- tion on this one. In celebration of the new 10-percent gambling tax, which the legislature hap- pily bestowed upon us this year, we could celebrate with a new scratch ticket. Scratch three of anything and give the money to the state. Scratch two of anything and a state house image, cough up ten bucks of your own money. This ticket might not
last to long, but it will be a money maker until people
catch on. I’m sure there’s plenty of
other ideas out there and I know the Lottery Com- mission will be on top of creating some great new tickets. It’s going to be a great
year. Brendan Smith wel-
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comes your comments at
brendan@weirs.com. He’s also still taking entries for his “Branding New Hamp- shire” contest. What do you think the state’s new brand should be. Send your entries before August 31st and you might win $10.
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THE FLATLANDER SPEAKS
Columnist Brendan Smith has, for the past 13 years, brought his humorous take on the
“Flatlander Phenomenon” to the pages of the Weirs Times. Now he’s bringing his show on the road.
A 30-minute presentation available for groups & organizations. Phone: 603-303-9055
or email:
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Worth
the DRIVE! WE SHIP!
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