THE WEIRS TIMES, Thursday, July 15, 2010 Formerly & Everywhere! RFD# to the gulf stream waters 3 to the New York Island by Lorrie Baird
jim-lorrie@earthlink.net STAYING COOL ISN’T EASY IN A HEAT WAVE by Lorrie Baird It’s hotter than Sarah
Palin at a Tea Party. Isn’t this the sizzling weather we migrate north to es- cape? This year it had the nerve to pack up and follow us. I’m not kid- ding, it’s been at least ten degrees hotter here this past week than in Florida. Figures. I am sweating like a
power grid in spite of the fact that I’ve been walk- ing around with ice bags dangling from my arm- pits. It’s been so hot and humid. I might as well style my hair by dumping a bucket of water over it. I put on eye makeup and in fifteen minutes I look like Rocky Raccoon. In this kind of heat it’s an effort to breathe…never mind work. The only people who are smiling these days are the ones working in AC all day. Those are the folks who
go around with a smirk on their faces asking, “Is it hot enough for ya?” Now what kind of a silly question is that? It’s New Hampshire for crying out loud…the thermometer is supposed to behave itself and on a hot date maybe flirt with the 85 degree range…tops. So the Granite State has a
hot flash and it spikes into the high 90s for days on end and the humidity’s so thick you can chew it and you have these people asking “is it HOT enough for you?” Makes you want to ship them off to Haiti for in- voluntary volunteer work digging ditches doesn’t it? (If you haven’t fig- ured it out by now I get a little cranky when it’s this hot.) I keep telling the dogs
– the ones that are cur- rently living in our air conditioned luxury coach that you’d think they paid for – I tell them that they don’t know how easy they have it. It doesn’t do any good…Chica’s been in a blue funk ever since she eyeballed Paris Hil- ton’s Chihuahua hotel on Animal Planet. As for Dual ly, right now he’s impervious to the heat. He’s busy out on the deck chewing on a chilled beef bone that we got him for his birthday. Dually is one year old today. When you’re age one and you’re so cute everyone adores you and waits on you hand and foot life is always sun- ny side up…even when it’s hot enough to sizzle an egg on the sidewalk, which is another dumb hot weather thing to do. I mean, who would want
an egg fried on the side- walk? Oh right, the Chi- huahuas. Meanwhile, all during
this heat wave Jim has been spending a lot of time working in the rec hall here at the camp-
AC systems that cool as soon as you turn the key. I don’t know how they do that. I just wish they did it ten years ago. The thing is, by pre-cooling our car during this heat wave we are now getting
Those are the folks who go around with a smirk on their faces asking, “Is it hot enough for ya?” Now what kind of a silly question is that?
ground that has “two twenty air condition- ing:” two doors and fans that blow 20 mph. I just walked up to deliver Jim’s lunch. The fans blew the chips clear off his plate and into the next fan. He spent his lunch break cleaning it up. In an ef- fort to keep cool Jim’s been drinking a lot of water and eating a lot of cold fruit. Me too. We have installed a rotating door into the bathroom. The dogs are confused. They keep cocking their little heads and looking at us and I know what they’re thinking: how come you’re spending so much time in the only room that has no TV? Thankfully, our new car
has the added feature of being able to pre-start it so it’s cool when we get in. New cars today have
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one mpg less mi leage than we did last week. I’m okay with that. I’ll think about conserving gas again – right along with upping my person- al energy level – when this heat wave is finally over.
With the humidity level
feeling like triple digits it’s way too hot to ride my bike. It’s too hot to take a fitness walk. I hand-watered my small vegetable garden and was sweating like I’d run the marathon. And all this time I thought I was too old to sweat like that anymore. Maybe I’ll get my swimsuit on and go jump in the pool. Then again, that’ll require ef- fort to walk up there. On second thought, I’m going to pour myself a tall glass of something cold and refreshing and dive back into the pages of my book. In this heat, turning pages takes all the energy I can muster.
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