the premise behind New York Goes to Work is that america votes
on what menial labor tiffany Pollard (aka “new york”) has to per-
form. can obscurity be added to her potential duties? too bad this
Flavor of Love/I Love New York/New York Goes to Hollywood reality
sensation didn’t have the show simply called “new york’s Jobs.”
Because i am sure there is one she’s very good at performing, it
begins with a B and ends with a B – how else can you explain her
ability to get so many tV shows?
hopefully, Bret Michaels is getting a cut of the profits from another spin
off from a spin off of his incessant quest for love. Wishful thinking, he prob-
ably gets along fine by Scotch Guarding his bandanas from any “liquids”
being spilled on them during filming of his reality show(s). Pus from a “cold
sore” doesn’t count as a liquid, and i was referring to alcohol, naturally.
anyhoo, a cast-off from one such incarnation of Rock of Love (season 18, i
believe) daisy “i put the ho in” de la hoya has a “new” series called - drum
roll please—Daisy of Love. even more surprisingly, male participants with
nicknames like “Big Rig” and “tool Box” (i don’t get it) actually want a chance
to woo this gal who looks to be at least 90% plastic. hope they brought
their instruction manuals, as some assembly is required if only to seal the
Grand canyon-like opening between her legs!
dOuble the pleasuRe, dOuble the Guilt
i have to confess that i will be watching two reality shows this summer. hey, i’ve
gotta find some kind of tV joy, since i can’t gleefully yell at Patricia Wettig’s character,
holly harper, to use some dentuGrip on Brothers & Sisters until fall! One is Charm
School with Ricki Lake, even though i detest Rock of Love Bus, one of the shows it
emanates from. But what’s not to love about a house full of drunk girls who drink,
fight, drink, back-stab, drink and drink? Oh, did i mention they like to get drunk while
trying to, ahem, “better themselves?”
Plus, if head Mistress lake gains all her weight back, she’d make a great Mrs.
Garrett-type for these gals that could actually teach her a course or forty about The
Facts Of Life. they’re a tad bit slutty, i’m just sayin’.
the other is The Real Housewives of New Jersey on Bravo – you mean Vh1 doesn’t
have the lock on been-there-done-that television programming? new Jersey, eh?
What? Was Rhode island not chic enough to merit its own series? harumph!
Cut.print.that’s a Wrap!
By the way, powers-that-be at aBc, you might want to seriously reconsider a name change along the lines of
“limping with the career impaired,” since there were so many injuries this season.
Wait a minute! Perhaps some of the possible contestants for next season could include all present/future
participants for any “Flavor of love” or “Rock of love” incarnations. they could maim two birds with one stone
at the very least! Problem solved.
Until next time, that’s all of the news that’s fit to print.
June 2009 | RAGE monthly 33
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