youthful thinking
by melissa k.-t.
Enough With thE
“for some reason, they feel the need to remind me
Labels
that I am a girl and that ‘girls dress a certain way.’”
feedback?
youthfulthinking@ragemonthly.com
Recently I have noticed more and more our human tendency to label others. children that girls were supposed to wear pink dresses and boys were supposed
People, things or places all have names and there is even a category to put those to wear blue. One would think that our society and the LGBT community would
into (nouns). Now don’t worry, I do not intend to give you a grammar lesson in have come to a point where we have overcome these societal pressures… but it
this month’s column. But I do plan to examine how silly it is that we, as a gay com- seems we have not.
munity, further alienate ourselves from each other and the straight community The other troubling trend I have noticed is that it seems the “girlier” a girl is, the
by putting each other into categories and boxes. more attractive people tend to find her. We have no public or popular media fig-
My friends can’t decide which box to put me in. I don’t exactly qualify as “butch,” ures of women who are “gender bending.” I really thought that this was a “straight
but I’m definitely not a “lipstick lesbian” either. I may just have to create my own man” sort of trend to judge women based on their girly appearance but it seems
category called “chap-stick lesbian.” But really, the fact is that no matter how many to have seeped into our lovely little rainbow also. Women whose parents are less
names and labels we come up with to describe ourselves it won’t change who we accepting of them being gay are more scared to bring home a “butch” girl than a
are. No one label is better than another; they are only words and just that. more feminine-looking one. Well here is a news flash: they are both women and
People often ask me what my “type” is but I don’t know how to respond to just because one is more feminine doesn’t change that fact. It seems to be more
that question. They want me to use a label but the problem is these labels don’t socially acceptable to look “straighter” and bring home “straighter” looking girls.
describe the person I am looking for. They describe their appearance and what we I wish I could witness more acceptance and less judgment by our gay commu-
perceive them to be, but not necessarily who they are. Being attracted to some- nity. I urge everyone to stop judging people based on the fact that they choose
one is so much more complicated than how they look. Chemistry, personality and to wear comfortable clothes instead of expensive heels and tight pants. Don’t
how they make you feel end up playing huge parts in the people we date. Why assume a guy who doesn’t wear designer clothes is not gay enough or doesn’t
isn’t the first thing that people ask something like “Oh is she smart?” instead of the have anything to offer. These ridiculous ideas of how people should be are caus-
all-too-shallow “Oh is she hot? Is she girly? What does she look like?” ing unnecessary negativity within our already small community. We are hated
Lately, I have felt immense pressure from my friends and others around me to enough by others, can’t we just accept people for who they are and focus our
dress, act and look girlier. I am a girl and I am quite aware of my biological sex, energy on fighting the hate out there in the world? I want to see more fighting
but my gender expression is none of their business. For some reason, they feel against hate instead of bringing it into our community. I hope that there are some
the need to remind me that I am a girl and that “girls dress a certain way.” It’s like people out there who agree with me and are willing to take the steps to make a
they are repeating the kindergarten lessons from the 1950s that taught young change in judging others.
30 RAGE monthly | June 2009
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76 |
Page 77 |
Page 78 |
Page 79 |
Page 80 |
Page 81 |
Page 82 |
Page 83 |
Page 84 |
Page 85 |
Page 86 |
Page 87 |
Page 88 |
Page 89 |
Page 90 |
Page 91 |
Page 92 |
Page 93 |
Page 94 |
Page 95 |
Page 96 |
Page 97 |
Page 98 |
Page 99 |
Page 100 |
Page 101 |
Page 102 |
Page 103 |
Page 104