EDINBURGH - REVISITED
Last month I focused on unlicensed shops I’d not previously seen in Scotland’s capital, but for the ETO Show edition (also first seen seven years ago) I wanted to revisit the stores I reviewed in 2005 to see if anything significant had changed. Would licensed shops have rebranded themselves into boutiques? Would I find any closed, shuttered and boarded?
The changing face of UK adult retail is the theme of
Mystery
June’s Mystery Shopper, as our Miss Marple pulls on her tweed to inspect Edinburgh again, sniffing out stores she first visited almost seven years ago...
James Watt, a pivotal figure of the Industrial Revolution, has half of Heriot-Watt University - a teaching and research university - named after him in the city; a hilly place of showers and sunshine for my visit. Sir Walter Scott, author of Ivanhoe, Waverley
and Rob Roy, is remembered in Edinburgh with the Scott Monument on Princes Street, near Waverley Railway Station. The 200ft 6” ‘gothic rocket ship’ (to quote Bill Bryson) has a series of viewing platforms reached by narrow spiral staircases. The highest is 287 steps up and those who reach it are rewarded with panoramic views of Edinburgh.
Private Shops Q-Store
Exceptional and inspiring
An impressive shopping experience
Ticks almost all of the right boxes
Lacking some vital elements
Private Shops (Private Lines in 2005) is a rare thing; a singular plural. It’s just one shop, on a busy main road north of the city centre, amongst a Halal butcher’s, greengrocer and a model kit retailer. On entering the empty shop I didn’t get a welcome. I know it wasn’t my English accent; I never needed to speak as I wasn’t offered any assistance either. Instead of making up a story about buying my first rabbit (as if!) I browsed the blue carpet and cream slatwall, noting the tidy stock (£36 Classified outfit, £40 six-piece policewoman’s uniform, £10 realistic 10” cock and a good selection of dolls, pumps and ID lubes; £10 each for the smallest size) and fittings. Another minor irk; the door to the back room was open, giving me teasing views of a comfortable sofa and TV. Add a Chinese takeaway and I’d not have been able to resist. Plastic shelves and a central island held £30 DVDs, with most in a 3 for 2 deal, and others clearly stickered 3 for 1. £40 white- boxed vibrators had stayed clean, but I did notice a damaged box containing jiggle balls. Hardly the end of the world, but it could have been in a bargain bin with 50p off. As I left, the door chimed a ‘Bong’ behind me, neatly summing up my feelings about this perfectly decent but rather lacklustre offering. Ten minute’s work and a smile could’ve made it a four star review.
Memorable for the wrong reasons
60
With no Clonezone in town, Q-Store is Edinburgh’s primary gay-interest retailer and remains almost unchanged since I first took tentative steps inside. Back then it was my favourite adult shop in Edinburgh thanks to its assured presentation, extensive range and pleasant atmosphere. It doesn’t have my favourite name though; that title goes to Unknown Pleasures, a record shop across town. Q-Store boasts a vast glass case, containing untold delights in stainless steel, in its back room instead. In my mind I rehearsed being a dominatrix on a supply-purchasing expedition, to explain my presence in a gay store if questioned. I admired a graduated butt-plug set, harnesses, speculums, £120 male chastity cages and even a £35.99 ‘cock-plug’. Enema gear, cock-rings, We-Vibes and £7.99 bondage tape added to the ‘semi-industrial sweet-shop’ feel. The black floorboards, white walls and grey slatwall was perhaps a little muted, and I would have rather browsed to music than the hum of a fan, but the chatting - and chatty - staff, huge range of books and R18 DVDs (straight as well as gay, most £19.99 and £29.99), plus a fine toy choice (Doc. Johnson’s Rambone, £39.99, lots of male G-spot vibes) all added up to another memorable visit. A wall of male undies, mainstream gay interest DVDs (most rated 15 or 18) and a distinct feeling no one was going to try chatting me up left me feeling very secure and relaxed here. My notes say 4.5 stars, but since I can’t recall anything I really didn’t like...
Erotic Trade Only June 2012
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