SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 2010
KLMNO
Does his wife need an Internet intervention? ASK AMY
Dear Amy: I suppose I should feel lucky
that my wife is not addicted to drugs or alcohol. She is, instead, addicted to the Internet. This is not my imagination. Our
grown and teenage children are very aware of the excessive amount of time she spends on the computer. She gets up at 6 a.m. and is online for two hours, comes home for lunch (another hour), gets off work, and runs to the computer for as many minutes as she can get in before we go out for dinner. Then it’s back home and immediately down to the basement den until around 1 a.m. If this weren’t bad enough, she has a new phone with Internet access. Now she’s online while we eat (though we have always had a “no phone” rule during dinner for our children) and at work, even though she is always complaining about not having enough time to get all of her work done. Amy, I have tried to discuss this calmly on several occasions, but with no results. We have always had a very happy, stable and actually exciting marriage for 30 years! Now I wait up on the couch most
nights watching TV alone, wondering if she is going to come up from the basement for any romance, but I am not going to beg!
I don’t know what’s up with her. Online Widower
Your wife could in fact be
“addicted” to the Internet. This is a growing phenomenon. Your family seems passive in the face of this problem; would you be as passive if your wife was consuming alcohol by herself every night in the basement? I hope not. The fact is, you really have no idea what your wife is doing — among other possibilities, she could be compulsively shopping, playing World of Warcraft or having a cyber-affair. Your family should confront your wife with this, stating the effect her behavior has on you. You should urge her to get help and assist her in getting it. Therapists who specialize in this sort of addiction use cognitive behavioral therapy to try to control the impulses that have overtaken your wife. For more information, there is a growing body of resources available — where else — on the Internet.
Dear Amy: One of my neighbors is driving
me nuts. I am a widow and this neighbor (who is married) tells me she worries about me. She rings my bell in the afternoon and calls me repeatedly on the phone (three
TODAY’S HOROSCOPE By Holiday Mathis
Aries (March 21-April 19) Choose your company
carefully. Seek the friendship of those who are straightforward, honest and observant. You will enjoy your relationships with this kind of person for many years to come.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) The coupon tells you that
you’ve earned a personal shopping day. Of course, buying stuff isn’t usually the kind of thing you think of as hard work. Before you show up to the sale, decide who will really benefit from your purchases.
Gemini (May 21-June 21) It’s sure great to be appreciated
and valued. Because you realize how wonderful that feels, you’ll be able to support those around you by acknowledging their contributions.
Cancer (June 22-July 22) You expect more from your loved ones than you would demand of mere acquaintances. And the closer a person is to you, the higher your expectations. Relax today. Cut everyone some slack, and that includes you.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) You have control over how you
“
appreciate your loved ones. You focus on the things you like and pile on the praise. And every time you do this, it becomes easier for you.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Your temperament is golden.
You’ll be an anchor to your friends and family — steadfast and available to listen attentively any time of day or night. Your friendship is a treasure.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) You and your loved ones are on the same team. Your tasks are so different at times, and you often do your work on completely different playing fields, but you are a team nonetheless.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) Sitting still is not your forte,
and yet it benefits you to quiet your mind and body for as long as you can bear it this morning. Inspiration and clarity will strike when you do.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) You will relate well to mature individuals who have their lives together. And you will relate equally well to those who have plenty of problems, flaws and messes to clean up. You’re an equal opportunity friend.
Hysterically Funny!”
Joel Amos, SHEKNOWS
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) There is no need to watch what
you say. Your words will follow your mind, and your mind will follow your heart. As long as you are coming from a loving place, all will be well.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) For some, it’s easy to feel down and out, even when that’s not really the case. Your mood, on the other hand, will be like a buoy that’s more or less impossible to sink.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) What you want to accomplish by the end of the day and what you actually have time for are two very different things. You’ll strike a happy medium, though, and ultimately will be proud of your productivity.
TODAY’S BIRTHDAY | SEPT. 26: You are both smart and wise. Before you take a step up the career ladder in October, you’ll find out exactly where the step leads and what the new position will entail. November features new connections and social fun. December brings family close for all the right reasons. March brings a large purchase. Aries and Virgo people adore you. ©2010, Creators Syndicate
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times last Sunday). I appreciate her attention, but not on a daily basis.
If I go to the mailbox she is there
and we might talk for 10 to 15 minutes. On a typical day, I sit with my blinds closed, trying to make it look like I am not home. I am tired of this and really don’t know what to do. I would still like to be on a somewhat friendly basis but I don’t want her showing up to check on me.
This past weekend I went out with a friend. When I came home, I had three messages from her. Now I try to screen the calls and not answer them. Do you have any suggestions?
Exhausted
Because your neighbor doesn’t read your cues, you’ll have to be explicit in drawing boundaries around your contact. Say to her: “I know you are being neighborly, but I am feeling overwhelmed and need more space. I’m doing fine and will call you if I need anything, but otherwise, it would be great if you would not call and visit so often because it’s just too much for me.”
Write to Amy Dickinson at askamy@
tribune.com or Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.
©2010 by the Chicago Tribune Distributed by Tribune Media Services
The Post Puzzler No. 25 By Patrick Berry • Edited by Peter Gordon •
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