give you a larger prescription to save trips to the pharmacy. Find out if your grocery store or pharmacy delivers.


• Try to eat healthy meals. Eating well will help you keep up your strength. If your loved one is in the hospital or has long doctor’s appointments, bring easy- to-prepare food from home. For exam- ple, sandwiches, salads, or packaged foods and canned meats fit easily into a lunch container.


• Get enough rest. Listening to soft mu- sic or doing breathing exercises may help you fall asleep. Short naps can energize you if you aren’t getting enough sleep. Be sure to talk with your doctor if lack of sleep becomes an ongoing problem.


• Exercise. Walking, swimming, running, or bike riding are only a few ways to get your body moving. Any kind of exercise (including working in the garden, clean- ing, mowing, or going up stairs) can help you keep your body healthy. Finding at least 15-30 minutes a day to exercise may make you feel better and help you manage your stress.


• Make time for yourself to relax. You


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may choose to stretch, read, watch tele- vision, or talk on the phone. Whatever helps you unwind, you should take the time to do it. It’s important to tend to your own needs and reduce your own stress levels.


Hold a Family Meeting Sometimes other close family and


friends may not agree on what should be done. It’s very common for families to argue over treatment options. Or they ar- gue because some caregivers help more than others. While everyone may be trying to do what they think is best for your loved one, family members may disagree about what this means. Everyone brings their own set of beliefs and values to the table, which makes decisions hard. It is often during these times that families ask their health care team to hold a family meeting. Talk with your loved one to see if he


or she wants a family meeting. Ask if they would like to be involved. At the meeting, all members share as much information as they can. You can ask a social worker or counselor to be there, if needed. If you need to, you can bring a list of issues to discuss. Meetings can be used to:


• Have the health care team explain the goals for treatment


• Let the family state their wishes for care


• Give everyone an open forum in which to express their feelings • Clarify caregiving tasks During these meetings, family mem-


bers may want to talk about how they feel. Or they may want to talk about what kind of help they can give to the patient. Each person may have certain skills to offer. At the end of the meeting, ask the


health care team to summarize and help plan the next steps.


How to Communicate When Support Isn’t Useful


If people offer help that you don’t


need or want, thank them for their con- cern. Let them know you’ll contact them if you need anything. You can tell them that it always helps to send cards and let- ters. Or they can pray or send good thoughts.


Sometimes people offer unwanted


advice on parenting, medical care, or any number of issues. It can be unpleasant to hear such comments. For example, some caregivers have shared:


• “We have a problem with a member of my husband’s family. She doesn’t live here and keeps questioning all our deci- sions. It’s gotten so bad that we’ve had our doctor explain to her that she’s not here all day, and, therefore, doesn’t un- derstand the situation. She has been a real pain.”


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• “I feel like people really want him to do the treatment they are suggesting, rather than what we feel is best. It’s mak- ing this harder than it needs to be.”


People often offer unwanted advice


because they aren’t sure what else they can do. They may feel helpless to do any- thing, yet want to show their concern. While it may come from a good place, it can still seem judgmental to you. It’s your decision on how to deal with


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these opinions. You don’t have to respond at all if you don’t want to. If someone has concerns about your kids that seem valid, talk to a counselor or teacher about what


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