HEALTH
“Nuts!” RICHARD BERCUSON PW/16
That was the response from U.S. General Anthony McAuliffe during 1944’s Battle of the Bulge when the German commander, whose troops greatly outnumbered the American forces, demand- ed they surrender.
There was no surrender of course and the rest
is history. Except for the nuts (not to be confused with the nut cases.) To this day, nuts have signifi- cant value. We know this is true because a google search of “the value of nuts” results in millions of hits. What more proof do we need? Things might be so different today if McAu-
liffe had said “Chips”, or “Pretzels”, or even “Crap”. According to one of his aides, he never swore, so saying “crap” would have held great import. Try to imagine a world where grad students seeking thesis topics investigate the health benefits of crap, beyond the obvious fertilizer uses. From an historical perspective, I wonder how the Germans would have reacted given that pretzel is actually a German word. Personally, research into the how chips or pret- zels make life better would suit me fine. Instead, we have lots of information about nuts. Most recently, it came to light that walnuts are almost a miracle nut.
8 BOUNDER MAGAZINE Not cashews or pistachios, which I have a lot
of time for. On the rare occasion when I’m invited to a social event and cashews appear in those little glass bowls, I will make them disappear. Salted, unsalted, broken, whole, or in crumbs. Doesn’t mat- ter. They’ll be gone. They don’t need to be cracked open or examined. You grab a handful and toss them in your mouth. Easy.
Pistachios are a delicious favourite, too, except they require work. First, there has to be a crack in the shell wide enough to slip your fingernail into. Once open, you have to extract the morsel without crushing it. Then there’s the issue of disposing of the shell. Gobbling down pistachios is fine except for the telltale dish of shells on the table. Walnuts, for all their health value, are similarly
a nuisance. This is why, despite recent medical pronouncements about their nutritional value, I’m not so sure I want to make them a habit. They’re actually a lot of work. For one thing, you can’t just snap open a walnut shell. You need a tool, like a screwdriver or sledge hammer. I’ve rarely seen peo- ple at parties whip out a flathead to ply open a wal- nut. Mind you, since these nuts have now become
continued on page 19
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