FAMILY by Helen Chade Mahshi T
eenagers that stay out past curfew and hang out with the wrong crowd give
their parents plenty to worry about. Parents may vent their frus- tration by yelling at their kids, which only succeeds in alienating them further. Parent Project is a class offered
specifically for parents with adoles- cents who engage in destructive behavior. Offered by the police de- partment, the Parent Project has celebrated 18 successful years in San Clemente. It is different from other par-
enting classes in that it’s specifi- cally created for parents of kids at risk of getting in trouble with the law. Often, these children are strong-willed by nature, and par- enting this type of temperament is different from parenting a more compliant personality. Parent Project is unique in that it’s an in-
teractive course that has been created around parent’s feedback. The workbook used in the course is designed to be used with classroom instruction as well as parent support group ses- sions.
“The four major factors that lead children into a life of crime are lack of discipline, lack
Teen Parenting Support
of supervision, negative peer influence and lack of demonstrated love and affection,” said Janet Dunford, Crime Prevention Specialist with the San Clemente Police Department. Parent Project is an empowerment pro-
gram based on love and affection. “If you get nothing else out of the class, re-
member to tell your child I love you everyday,” said Dunford.
Teaching parents to enforce consequences
if teens break rules, consistency in discipline, knowing where your kids are and who they’re with, and creating positive behavioral changes are themes of the class. A San Clemente Mom, who wishes to re-
main anonymous, shared with this reporter that she took the class a few years ago because she wanted to stop arguing with her two sons. “Thankfully, we argue less with our chil-
dren now because of what we learned with Par- ent Project,” she said.
The highlights of what is learned in this interactive
course include: • Parents need to demonstrate uncondi- tional love for their children.
• Teenagers act on emotion and want in- stant gratification.
• Parents are the biggest influence on their children and screaming, yelling and lec- turing do not produce the desired
changes. • Parents must establish rules and consequences. When children break the rules, have a plan of action in place. With teenagers, taking away their cell phones, computers and video games for a short period of time works well. • Parents need to be informed on current trends in drug and alcohol use. • Remain involved in your child’s life. When teenagers are making plans, such as going to a party, par- ents must be informed about where their children are going, who is in charge and who will be there. • Parents need to know their chil- dren’s friends and know the parents of those friends. • Children do something worthy of praise every day. Recognize it and be sure to offer positive affirmation of their efforts. Changing Destructive Adoles-
cent Behavior is the title of the Parent Work- book used in the course. A sampling of chapter topics within this 10-week course include: Un- derstanding Our Children, Addressing Prob- lematic Behavior, The Dynamics of Change, Managing Conflict In the Home, Active Lis- tening, Building Positive Self- Concepts and Promoting Family Unity. “This class has helped me to stay calm,
strengthen my relationships with my kids and have a better understanding of where they’re coming from,” added the mom who completed the course.
Perhaps most encouraging for parents is
knowing it’s never too late to learn new techniques that will bring the family closer together. ❂ Parent Project classes will be starting in September, and will be held at San Clemente High School. Registration for fall classes can be made by calling Janet Dunford at the local police department. She can be reached at (949) 361-8386.
www.parentproject.com.
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SAN CLEMENTE JOURNAL
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