This page contains a Flash digital edition of a book.


by Kelly Martinsen

y Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper is a funny exploration on life and relationships. With pinpoint accuracy the book has uncanny ability to hold a mirror up to the modern woman’s life. Prior to its release, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak with the author, ex- professional volleyball player, model, fitness and health expert, and wife of Laird Hamilton (widely regarded as the best big- wave surfer of all time) Gabrielle Reece. By the time we finished speaking, I had ideas for my own life with regards to nutrition, exercise, motherhood, partnership and specifically self. In her signature matter-of-fact tone, Reece explained her belief that women inherently feel guilty about everything and at the same time have a desire to “have it all”. Reece has had numerous roles in her life, and one can only imagine her quest to be the best at all of them. While she agrees that you may have the all-time career at one point in your life, may feel like Super Mom at another time, and may have a period where you are the all-time wife and lover, it is literally impossible to be everything to everybody at one time. “I have given up that idea of having it all,” she confided. “That conversation for me is torture. You can have a lot of all of it, but at some point in time, something will have to give. You need to realize it can’t be all important all the time; it needs to [constantly] shift.” For Reece, the idea of shifting the guilt and the feeling of

having it all starts with first having “self”. So often as women, “self” is something we forget or place last. “Unless someone is sick or hurt, it has to be me first, because it has to start with me and me being happy,” Reece explained. “I have learned even with my children that I will understand that and honor that even if it appears to be selfish.” Reece ascertains that she can be a much more selfless and joyous parent and partner if she first figures out how to take care of her own needs. Who can disagree?

This is just as true for the stay-at-home mom as it is the

working mom. “You can’t come home from living your life and say, ‘OK, I am ready to parent now’... without first taking some space,” Reece said, “Whatever that is for a person.” Taking the time for oneself is what will make one be able to be much more available to the others in one’s life. For happiness, self-fulfillment, confidence and a slew of other great oxytocin feelings come from one’s own activities. “One thing I have learned being with my husband for 17 years, you cannot live through your child or any partner,” Reece said. “It is not the child or partner’s job to make you happy, and no matter how much you put into them, it will never truly fulfill you in that way that has to do with you being that individual person.” Which is why it is so important to Reece that first and foremost it must start with self.

This clarified view did not come suddenly, but over time. As she entered into motherhood, there was this new role where you have this one-sided relationship. In the sense that as the parent, you cannot ask yourself, “What do I get out of this relationship?” This was new to Reece, and at times she admits she would find herself obsessing over her parenting skills much to the same degree that I do—”Am I not there? Am I doing too much? Am I too tough on them? Am I not tough enough?” She continued to ruminate on these questions and be baffled

18 Hudson County

Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36  |  Page 37  |  Page 38  |  Page 39  |  Page 40  |  Page 41  |  Page 42  |  Page 43  |  Page 44  |  Page 45  |  Page 46  |  Page 47  |  Page 48