Here are some job perks
that would appeal to the average middle-aged guy: • Coffee on an I.V. drip.
• Office near the men’s room.
• Voice-activated computer so you don’t have to reach around your stomach to access the keyboard.
• Large font inter-office memos.
• Phone set up for outgoing calls only.
• No office parties. Ever. • A boss who is older than you.
DANGEROUS SIGNS I was in a department store
the other day, and I had a very unsettling feeling. Although the store carried thousands of different items in a variety of styles and colors, I had this sense that there was nothing here that I really needed. Not one thing in the store that was going to make enough of a difference in my life to make it worth the purchase. I was turning into a marketer’s
worst nightmare -- the reluctant consumer. I always read about how advertisers want the younger market. They’re not interested in advertising to guys like me. I’m beginning to understand why. We’ve run out of money, interest and storage space. And we’ve lost the naive optimism that got us to buy things like hot tubs and expensive sunglasses. We see ourselves as we really are, and it makes us very difficult to manipulate. The only sales tool they have
left is sex, and the clock is ticking, believe me.
www.bounder.ca
BOUNDER MAGAZINE 29
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