better tools. Feign knowledge. Bash aluminium poles. Re-consider ground surface variable. Bash harder. Bash fore-finger with giant, industrial-sized mega hammer. Re-arrange finger digit aesthetically. Swear with industrial proficiency. Ignore wife for six months reference hospitals / x-rays. Consider right-angle anomaly in fore-finger. Approach digit consultant. Amuse digit consultant. Amuse digit
consultant’s disciples. Abort medical intervention. Make like a pirate.
Despite appearances then,
this Tom and this Barbara frequently get it wrong. We might be talking a good shop, coming across all sloe gin, rum marmalade and lavender short-bread, but in reality we’re just giving it a go, and getting it wrong quite a lot of the time. But at least there’s much hilarity to be had along the way, a case of all the gear, no idea.
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BAKED APPLES? Baked apples must be one of the true great winter puds. Some big fat juicy raisins, a knob of butter, a drizzle of Golden Syrup and half an hour in the oven, and bob’s your uncle. Our elderly neighbour, whose house is aptly named Bramley, fills a cardboard box with cookers from his tree for all the villagers to help themselves to, so barely a week goes by when we don’t have baked apples. Every time I pass by I squirrel a couple, then walk home with my bulging pockets, dreaming of soft, sweet, fluffy apple, scented with cinnamon, and a scoop or two of vanilla ice-cream. My two-year-old loves them – then again, it probably reminds her of her favourite stewed apple as a baby. One of the great advantages of the weather turning colder is being able to tuck into a steaming bowl of porridge on a frosty morning. Last winter I had a thing for Dorset Cereal’s Gingerbread Porridge, which gave me a fuzzy, nostalgic Three Little Bears feeling every time I took a spoonful, but this winter I suspect it’s going to be Dorset Cereal’s new Proper Raspberry Porridge, which is absolutely delicious and is a blend of jumbo oats, cream barley, real raspberries, and – nice touch – pumpkin seeds. I could happily eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner – although I think my husband would have something to say about that. F
CLAIRE BOWMAN Dorset based former Times food editor talks, tastes and writes about food most days for Positive PR
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