THOUGHTS Foodie COMING ACROSS ALL A
BIT TOM AND BARBARA Be under no illusions folks; much as I love being thought of as Broadwoodwidger’s answer to Felicity Kendall, in reality, it’s a bit farfetched. Oh yes I can spin a good chutney yarn and I can moan about my fruit cage’s weed population which is definitely offsetting carbon emissions of epic proportions; and the Blue one I’m married to does have a poly-tunnel (aka plastic man-shed) from which to contemplate slash and burn agricultural practices (aka playing with chainsaws, building bonfires and occasionally growing the odd hypothermic chilli). But in all honesty, we haven’t as yet come anywhere near the dizzy green heights of self-sufficiency. Not by a long way. For starters I’m still making inappropriate jokes about the basket weaving / yoghurt spinning postcodes of the South Hams. The point, as Mr Strawbridge and Co. pointed out so succinctly, is that It’s Not Easy Being Green. Unless you are Shrek, in which case,
there’s a spot reserved for you in eco-heaven and you can get there super quick chop-chop by Concorde. All the little Shreks left behind will sort out the environmental impact stuff for you
56 | THE WESTCOUNTRY FOODLOVER for taking the proverbial.
TAMMY MOLESWORTH Owner of Devon, based Gin Pennant, food marketing and events agency
post-hoummous. Sorry, posthumous. And they will still remember you fondly for your tree hugging and general goodness despite your garlicky breath.
I can’t even start to describe the infinite number of calamities we’ve had, I’d be here all night. But some of them are too good not to share. If it sounds like Pink is trying to have the last word here she is. But then Blue does rather line himself up
Incident One of Many: Obsess about plastic man-shed. Secure purchase of man-shed. Ignore The Wise Man’s Guide to erecting your plastic man-shed. Dig trenches by hand for securing man-shed into ground against high winds. Give up. Discuss at length with man friends over cider. Blame digging tools. Encourage wife and friend to complete trench digging by hand. Marvel at wifely efficiency and grit. Erect plastic man shed with panache and proficiency thereafter. Advise wife sheepishly of imminent and timely (?) arrival of mini-digger. Familiarise self with digger. ‘Bed down’ plastic man-shed using trench soil and digger bucket. Deploy caution. Complete task. Admire plastic man-shed. Congratulate self. Depart construction zone. Comprehensively re-arrange skin tight, plastic cover of man-shed with digger bucket. Purchase mending tape. Make like a plastic-surgeon. Incident Two of Many: Obsess about
giant fruit-cage. Secure fruit cage as communally given Wedding present. Hide Wise Man’s Guide to erecting giant fruit cage. Consider gradient and ground surface variables. Ignore localised impenetrable ground surface. Erect frame. Deploy existing tools. Purchase bigger,
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60