Case Study
when the ‘tape appeared to be wiped clean’ made me think more and more that perhaps ashes truly were ashes.
It was thus long before Mum passed, I found that I had already slipped into the icy clutch of grief and it was a very dark and lonely place to be. My Father had died of cancer when I was in my early teens, so I considered my Mother to be my best friend as well as a parent – we were extremely close. Although I’d eventually found the strength to contend with the dementia, the thought of not seeing her again was agonising. There was no one to talk to about this in any depth, as the same lack of spiritual/existential direction existed in the care home environment – the Priest was quite simply too busy to attend with any regularity. Also, not being a regular church goer I didn’t want to appear to be ‘using’ their services as it were, which I felt should be reserved for Sunday worshippers.
Anyhow, miraculously this ‘existential Bell Jar’ didn’t last because Debbie rapidly made a point of engaging with each and every one of the family members of
This is a classic story of entrepreneurship hidden in a provincial community and within a municipal structure.
of Thompson) had decided to undergo training to become a Reader, or lay minister, and then a Chaplain to Older People, at first alongside her usual broadcasting activities.
After the meeting with Debbie, my Mother lasted another couple of years during which time I had the great pleasure of seeing Debbie’s Chaplaincy go from strength to strength and also to personally benefit from her ‘here and after’ service. For at the very time Debbie introduced herself, Mum was beginning the ‘last lap’ in the sense that more and more faculties were disappearing, she’d started to fall over and there were increasingly frequent gaps in the recognition of my sister and I. In fact, this fuzzy and intermittent recognition was beginning to depress and appal me. I was a lapsed Catholic but I did believe in a hereafter though the times
the residents and along with her upbeat, insightful, creative and caring communication skills, she used the story building skills she’d gained from years in journalism and broadcast to help us begin to see meaning and gain courage in the ‘3rd Act,’ and to imagine the ‘4th Act’. Just being able to articulate scenarios such as the panic of letting go of my Mother’s hand forever and being left alone was an enormous source of unburdening. Equally, I began to contemplate and prepare for my Mother’s potential complete neurological disintegration, as well as her eventual passing.
Prior to Debbie’s arrival, there
had never been anyone there who had the time and skill to help me prepare for the
next psychological step which in this case was going to be the most difficult of all.
My Mother eventually had a stroke in August 2011 and passed away a month later. During that time Debbie was always on hand to offer emotional support and words of kindness to myself and my sister through texts, phone calls and visits. And during the time we spent together, Debbie would pray over my Mother who was largely in a coma by this stage. It was quite remarkable because although my Mother was to all intents and purposes unconscious, she would visibly became more serene on hearing Debbie’s soft, soothing voice as she read passages from poems and religious texts.
21 entrepreneurcountry
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