inspiration
WABI SABI LOVE
Embracing Imperfections in Relationships by Arielle Ford
T
he ancient Japanese art form of Wabi Sabi honors all things old, weathered, worn and im- permanent by perceiving the beauty in imperfec- tions. It discovers grace in things modest, humble and unconventional. Wabi Sabi love is
We shift our choices from “what I want,” to what is
ultimately best for the relationship.
the art and practice of ap- preciating the quirks and imperfections in our self and our partner. Listening with our heart, we come to see with it, too. Discerning the hidden dance between partners brings emotional maturity to our relationships as we shift our focus from what’s wrong to what’s right. This new, true view deeply bonds us and is a key to everlasting love—and any harmonious relationship. Spiritual teacher David Deida counsels, “Practicing love often means… surrendering all hold on the familiar act you call ‘me.’” By choosing to turn everyday conflict into com- passion, we cultivate a more loving relationship through humor, listening, intimacy and generosity, even when someone is acting out, refusing to listen or shutting down.
Acceptance and its counterpart, understanding, are crucial to achieving relationship harmony. It’s the high- est form of love and, like most things worth striving for, requires patience, commitment, personal responsibility, playfulness and practice. Imagine how great it is to feel loved all the time by a
friend and partner—during the good, the bad and everything in-between. It starts when we shift our perception and see our mate’s behavior through a gentler and kinder lens of mutual respect and lightheartedness. Research by Psychologist Sandra Murray, Ph.D., at the University of Buffalo, reveals that donning “rose-colored glasses” and idealizing our partner leads to more happiness and satisfaction in a relationship, and that the happiest couples focus on what’s right. In what is known as the Pygmalion effect, the greater the expectation placed upon people, the better they perform. Keeping an open heart and mind also prepares us to receive our partner’s best expectations and highest level of caring, even if it might seem different than what we expect. When we choose to lovingly accept each other, let go of issues and apologize for any wrongdo- ing, it transforms the relationship. Overall, we better appreciate the bigger picture and go from being annoyed to enjoyed!
Bestselling author Arielle Ford is a leader in the personal growth and contemporary spirituality movement. Her new release is Wabi Sabi Love (
WabiSabiLove.com). Subscribe to a free Soulmate Secret newsletter at
ArielleFord.com.
natural awakenings February 2012 49
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72