list of things that are most important to me (and to the Lord, as I involve Him in my daily decisions). My expectations of myself are simplified, and that shorter list means I have more energy to do what is important and to take joy in doing it. Less equals more. Along with “should”, I’ve banned being “busy”. If there are many important things that I want to accomplish, my life is full, not “busy”. In a full life, there is joy in the work. Tat is what I want.
“In a full life, there is joy in the work.”
By simplifying my expectations and choos- ing my work based on what is important and valuable to me, I have re-learned to enjoy things like: taking time to care for myself, slowing down and taking things at my chil- dren’s pace, connecting with friends, making healthy dinners for my family, and spending time with my husband. Can you relinquish the burden of “should” and reach out for what is most important in life instead?
state of mind. Te great English poet John Milton wrote, “Te mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” It is the workings of our mind that determine whether we are bliss- fully content or deeply depressed, not our environment. In order to re-learn to be happy, I had to train my mind to choose happiness. Actively doing the three things I mentioned above were essential. In addi- tion, I had to choose to dismiss the negative thoughts that frequently arose, or reframe them in a positive way. It took a lot of work and conscious choice to train my mind to hold on to happiness and shun unhappiness. In studying how to do this, I learned that as
Bliss is a choice, and a
we think, feel, and experience the world, we create pathways in our brain. As we dwell on certain thoughts, feelings and experienc- es, their attendant pathways are reinforced, and our mind begins to go down those paths naturally, almost of its own accord.
When I chose to focus on the positive, hap- piness crept back into my life, and as I em- braced it more and more, my state of mind began to change. Bliss became a way of life, and a way in which I experienced the world. Now, I see much to be grateful for in many things that once seemed only over- whelming: housework, financial responsi- bilities and challenges, caring for four ac- tive children, and even attending to my son’s medical needs. What changes to your mind would bring you bliss?
Be grateful. I feel like this almost goes without saying. Gratitude is the great
key to happiness. It is the oil in the gears of life. Yet, when difficulties come thick and fast, it is easy to be blinded to the many blessings we have. Gratitude is part of all the other four lessons that I learned about being happy. A grateful heart is humble enough to pick up the pennies of pleasure, sensitive enough to appreciate the moment, wise enough to differentiate between what is important and what is not, and powerful enough to alter the pathways of the mind. I can’t even begin to name the multitude of things I am grateful for each day. Is your heart full of gratitude? I hope so!
Begin to bring bliss into your life today. Pick a lesson you can learn from, and get to work! ■
Julia Bernards’ background is in Family Life, both in education and experience. Writing about family life to share inspiration and ideas with other women is one of her primary passions.
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