Padiham Football Club Padiham Football Club supporters are having to get used to the retirement of two of the clubs behind the scenes stalwarts this season, as first Jean Helm stepped down in the close season from looking after the kitchen on match days and more recently Bob Bailey stepped down as the grounds man for the Arbories based club. Between them the two retirees have given over 30 years service to Padiham, with Jean being just as well known to visiting supporters as those that follow Padiham, and Bob being recognised by the Football Association and Lancashire Football Association for his work on the pitch at the Arbories. Padiham FC Secretary Alan Smith said " that without volunteers like Jean and Bob, clubs like Padiham would struggle to exist and on behalf of everyone at Padiham Football Club we would like to thank them both for the help they have given the club over the last two decades". Padiham Football Clubs Annual Sportsmans Dinner takes place this year on Thursday 24th November at Turf Moor Burnley. Guest speaker is Barry Fry, Comedian is Jamie Southerland and MC Andy Ashworth. To reserve a ticket contact 07775717698.
Second Opinion! The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.' Joe was shocked and depressed. As you would be, and he wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit...' He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit...' The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see... Size 44 long.' Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?' 'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?' Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.' The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.' Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?' 'Been in the business 60 years.' Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?' Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.' The salesman said, 'Let's see... Size 36. Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you there! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.' The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.' New suit - £300. New shirt - £36. New underwear - £6. Second Opinion - PRICELESS
Peace of mind for you and
your family Bertwistles make all the difference
when it really matters Suffering the loss of a family member or friend is something that words cannot describe - yet, as you know, it is precisely at this time that someone has to decide who will pay for the funeral and what the funeral arrangements are to be. That’s where Bertwistles Personal Funeral Plan can make all the difference.
Peace of mind for you and your
family The benefit of choosing Bertwistles today is that the complete cost of a funeral and the arrangements that go with it are all taken care of - nobody need have the burden of a funeral bill to pay, nor the worry of having to make such detailed arrangements at such a stressful time.
An independent family funeral
director you can trust Bertwistles offer a choice of three funeral plans to suit your needs and wishes. Whichever you choose the plan will be carried out by an independent family funeral director who has a long and proud tradition of personal service within your community. You can be sure your independent family funeral director will appreciate and respect local customs and expectations whilst offering the highest level of service.
4.
A pre-payment guarantee By pre-paying for your funeral in advance you secure the cost of the funeral which includes the cost of the crematorium, Doctors fees, Minister and Funeral Directors’ services. Where burial is required Bertwistles contribute a sum equal to cremation disbursements to the cost.
Why purchase a Bertwistles Funeral Pre-payment Plan?
• Provide for the cost of your funeral in advance
• Once paid, the cost of your Cremation Plan is guaranteed against inflation
• Choose your own cremation or burial arrangements, tailored according to your own personal wishes
• Payments in one lump sum or regular instalments
• Complete peace of mind for both you and your loved ones
Take the next step… For an informal discussion, more information or to request an information pack please call or telephone your local Bertwistles Funeral Home:
BERTWISTLES FUNERAL HOME 46, Burnley Road, Padiham. BB12 8BN Tel: 01282 771628
www.havenfuneralplans.co.uk Or complete the enquiry card and return by post.
Bertwistles A Local Independent Family Firm
To receive further details on Funeral Pre-Payment Plans, please complete your details below and return to:
Bertwistles Funeral Home 46, Burnley Road, Padiham. BB12 8BN Title: ………….. 1st Name(s): ……………………………………… Surname: ……………………………………………………………… Address: ………………………………………………………………. ………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………… Postcode: …………………….. Date of Birth: ………………………………………………………….. Daytime telephone no: ………………………………………………...
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