East Lancs Weather Report
Aug/Sept 2011 With the weather Gods still not on our side, from the middle of August until the end of the month, the weather produced nothing at all to write home about. Temperatures were around the seasonal average for October not August, with just the occasional sunny day thrown in to keep us wondering if this was the start of the fabled Indian
summer....it wasn’t. Overcast and breezy sums it up, with light winds approaching from the northwest bringing clouds and rain predominantly. As September began our spirits were raised by a couple of dry sunny days.......yippee. But by the time of going to press, we have had the seasonal average rainfall for September 111mm already (Met office.) As the song goes, “things can only get better!” Between the 5th and the 8th we had 69mm dumped on us from on high, producing localised flooding. Temperatures also failed to rise much, as the energy companies rubbed their hands with glee, with people putting their central heating on early. With time running out for the sun to make a prolonged guest appearance, the best we can hope for is that when winter does arrive, we don’t get some of that horizontal rain and sleet. That is no good for man nor beast. Keep dry.
Frank Whittaker. Supporting MacMillan Cancer Care.
With great anticipation the crowd eagerly await the unveiling of the new Tony Blair statue.
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you’re a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you’re a vegetarian.
Never Lie to a Woman A man called home to his wife and said, " Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're Leaving from the office & I will call by the house to pick my things up" " Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas." The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, "Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to do?" You'll love the answer... The wife replied, "I did. They're in your fishing box ..." Never Lie To A Woman...!!!
Did you know…… The Local Herald goes to over 45,000 homes ?
Get your adverts noticed in... The Local Herald. Call Simon:
07767 353095
GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE Good morning. At present we are not at home but, please Leave your message after you hear the beep. beeeeeppp... If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who it is. If you need us to stay with the children, press 2
12.
If you want to borrow the car, press 3 If you want us to wash your clothes and ironing, press 4 If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5 If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6 If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7 If you want to come to eat here, press 8 If you need money, dial 9 If you are going to invite us to dinner, or, taking us to the theatre, start talking we are listening!!
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44