Harold & Ethel. Ethel:
I’ve
just
signed up for the senior exercise class at the village hall every Tuesday. Harold: What do you have to do ? Ethel: Just turn up on Tuesday wearing some loose fitting clothes. Harold: If you had any loose fitting clothes you wouldn’t need to sign up in the first place.
What does a vampire take for a cold? Coffin syrup!... Ohh …. That’s pathetic.
A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity so he asked...
"Well, before
you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" So she does... And it was a long, deep l inger ing, passionate kiss. After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"
Just found out my Grandad was half Irish and half Chinese. His mates called him…
..Pat Noodle.
I no longer see the wife and kids, it`s all down to of gambling. I won a shed full of money and left the Country.
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What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
Neck-tarines.... Ohhh that’s bad.
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