Advice Health
flashpoints such as holidays. However, for the benefit of the children, both parties will have to work together to get through this. Try to arrange a programme of shared responsibility for child access and care. Tis may save unnecessary contact with your husband. You might want to have a think about creating a written programme for time spent with the children, divided equally between the two of you over the next 12 months. A humble direct approach by telephone or in person may work. An email out of the blue can be impersonal and may be unwelcome. If communications are at a low, then a mediation meeting may help. Also, you may well both know how to wind each other up, and understanding and trying to detach from this, may be important in controlling your emotions.
I want to put my daughter on a diet – without her knowing it. She is 11 and already weighs seven-and-a-half stone. I’ve spoken to her about the problem and explained the dangers of obesity but to no avail. I think a little “surprise” weight loss might motivate her into taking a bit more interest in exercise, which would help her to maintain a healthy weight. Joy, Exeter
Angela Falsachi says: Resorting to “trickery” is not the best way to approach your daughter’s problem. You need to help her understand that a balanced diet and regular exercise play an important role in achieving maximum health. It is important to remain positive and not to show anxiety about weight problems as this can create a lack of confidence and may also affect her wellbeing. Te whole family must set a good example by eating healthily and taking regular exercise together. Try group exercise at the weekend such as tennis, hill walks and incorporate in some activities that perhaps you’ve never tried, such as mountain wall climbing. Children always enjoy beating their parents up the wall!
I have a seven-year-old boy whose teacher fears he has dyscalculia. What does this mean? I don’t know who to talk to or what to do next. Siobhan, Bristol
Jo Petty says: Dyscalculia, like dyslexia and dyspraxia, is a specific learning difficulty. It affects the ability to acquire mathematical skills and it is thought that around 5% of school-age children suffer from it. Tere are many reasons why a seven-year-old boy may be finding maths difficult but a referral to an educational psychologist, or specialist teacher, is essential for an assessment of his strengths and weaknesses and to identify his learning needs. Te assessor’s report will include a diagnosis and recommendations on intervention. Make an appointment to talk to his teacher, too. Te SENCO should also be involved and the school should be able to provide some help for your son and to give you guidance on helping at home. Further information can be found online at DysCalculia Zone and
bdadyslexia.org.uk.
I was stunned to be told at my nine- year-old daughter’s parents’ evening that
she is not doing enough extra-curricular art or music. Given that she is working for her entrance exams, I think it’s better that she spends any free time with her tutors being coached, or just playing with her friends, rather than drawing or painting. Is extra art and music really necessary when she has so much on, already? Jane, High Wycombe, Bucks.
Rhys Johnston says: Your daughter’s teacher is making a valid point. Music and art should be given the same value as other subjects. I would expect that your daughter is also learning a musical instrument. If this is the case, then daily practice at home is necessary for her to progress from one grade to the next. Have you ever thought that there needs to be a balance in your daughter’s home life, between the demands of homework, coaching and, say, the enjoyment of learning an instrument? Ask your daughter how she feels. You might find that she enjoys her art-based activities and the creative learning process from this may be of benefit in other areas of her learning.
How can I ensure that my 14-year-old son gets safely to and from school every day? I am nervous that he might get mugged, or worse, by gangs of local boys who may see him as a soft target because of his uniform. Petra, south London
Sue Firth says: It’s a real dilemma for parents: how to “let their child go” enough for them to learn to be independent but still recognise that they have their limitations. Have you tried asking your son if he can walk with anyone so that he’s not always on his own or that he agrees to walk some of the way but then takes a lift or the bus? A mobile is too slow to use if you’re under attack. A personal attack alarm is discreet, though. Why not consider enrolling him on a martial arts course to give him confidence, should he be approached. Good luck!
Our First Eleven panelists invite you to email your questions to:
editor@firstelevenmagazine.co.uk
www.firstelevenmagazine.co.uk Summer 2011 FirstEleven 57
PHOTOS: ISTOCK
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