Health Advice
Agony aunt
What is discalculia? Should your child board full time? Is it okay to put an 11-year old on a diet? First Eleven’s Agony Aunt Victoria Lambert rounds up a panel of experts to answer your questions
THE SPECIAL NEEDS EXPERT Jo Petty is director of the Dyslexia Teaching Centre in London and has more than 30 years of experience with dyslexia and other learning difficulties.
THE BEAUTICIAN Alice Hart-Davis is author of Be Beautiful: Every Girl’s Guide to Hair, Skin and Make-up (Walker Books, £9.99) and creator of Good Things skincare,
www.goodthingsbeauty.com
THE TEACHER Rhys Johnston is an experienced teacher who is the Director of Studies at London boys’ preparatory school, Eltham College Junior School in south London.
THE FINANCIAL ADVISOR Keith Churchouse is a Surrey-based financial adviser, who works with helping couples through the divorce process. He has just published his latest book, Divorce Recovery, Nagged, Tagged & Bagged (£9.99), available at Waterstones and Amazon.
THE NUTRITIONIST Angela Falaschi is a nutritional therapist, homeopath and iridologist. (
www.angelafalaschi.com). She is author of Children’s Nutrition: A Parent’s Guide (£9.99) available at
www.need2knowbooks.co.uk
THE PSYCHOLOGIST Sue Firth is a practising psychologist and behaviour analyst with consultancy practices in London and Surrey. She has appeared as a guest expert on numerous TV programmes including This Morning and Panorama.
56 FirstEleven Summer 2011
Victoria Lambert says: Your son is obviously happy to stay overnight at school once a week. But I can see your point, too. Schools with a strong boarding ethos can leave day pupils feeling isolated – they miss out on evening study groups and activities, and the crucial late-night gossip and bonding that dorms engender. Conversely, boarders at a school, which is mostly “day”, may find themselves more homesick and envious of their friends who see their families every morning and night. Te flexi-board seems to be increasingly common, and instead of seeing the negatives, I think you’d be wise to view it positively. It will make your son more self-sufficient and teach the values of teamwork and inclusivity, especially if he is an only child. And yet he’ll still be able to be home enough for you to keep an eye on. From your perspective, it’s cheaper than a full board – and you even get a night off parenting. Sounds like a win-win to me!
My daughter is 13 and is at a girls’ boarding school. The school is remote and I had hoped that this might mean she
My son is 11 and is happy to board once a week at school. But he has made it clear that he will never board full time. I worry that he’ll end up in a sort of “no man’s-land”, neither boarder nor day boy – and that this could leave him unsettled and struggling to make friends. Should we force him to choose? James, Berkshire
didn’t grow up quite as fast as city girls. But at half term she was wearing make- up, every day, and lots of it! When she went back to school, I noticed that most of my cosmetics had gone with her! I’m also worried about her skin; she has acne and I don’t want it get worse due to the amount of make-up she is wearing. Alexandra, Edinburgh
Alice Hart Davis says: If girls are going to go through a phase of wearing tons of make-up, it is often worse if they are at an all-girls school, where they are dolling themselves up for each other. If there are boys around, their efforts might seem a bit try-hard. With luck, this may be a phase. If it isn’t, approach the subject with care. If you are too strict, it may cement her desire to pile it on. You could start by talking to her about the importance of keeping her skin clean – by taking her make-up off thoroughly at night – and of giving her skin a chance to “breathe”. If she’s using it to hide her acne, many kinds of make-up may make it worse by clogging the pores; a compromise might be to get her some mineral powder make-up, which is kind to the skin and helps soak up excess oil. If that doesn’t work, go and see your doctor, who can prescribe antibiotics. And let her know that your make-up bag is strictly off limits!
I am getting divorced and it is not a civil parting between me and my husband. Although we are trying to keep our arguments from the children (luckily they board at a terrific school), there is constant tension. I don’t want to see my husband’s new partner at parents’ nights, sports’ days and matches, but he insists, saying he pays the fees. The school has warned that only one of us is welcome at a time, making the situation harder. We need to set some ground rules. Any advice as to what should they be? Jenny, Leeds
Keith Churchouse says: At the beginning of a separation, it is really not unusual for there to be conflict, with
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