The statement below is true. The statement above is false.
Harold & Ethel. Harold: What
would
you do if I died before you dear ? Ethel: I will probably look to sharing a house with two or three single or widowed ladies, perhaps women who were a bit younger than me as I’m still fairly active for my age. What about you Harold, what will you do if I die before you ? Harold: Probably the same.
Nothing lowers the level of conversation like raising one’s voice.
English is such a
hard language. To “take care” of something means a different thing depending whether you are Al Pacino or Julie Andrews.
I think it was John Lennon that said “ Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.” But he also said. “I am the walrus, I am the eggman.” So I don’t know what to believe. David Brent.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor... She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
Readstone United Junior Football Club has recently received the Charter Mark for Junior Football from the Lancashire F. A. as an acknowledgement
of the high standard of coaching and
organisation within the club. Next season Readstone are hoping to run 2 teams at Under 8s level and have organised training sessions on Read school field on Saturday mornings between 10.30 and 12.00 commencing on the 7th May 2011. Any boy or girl who is aged 6 or 7 and is under the age of 8 on the 31st August this year and is interested in playing football is asked to turn up for the training. Initially this training will be given by existing Readstone managers who are all F.A qualified coaches and CRB checked, but eventually the club will be looking for a Parent or a group of Parents to take over the running of the new teams. Experienced guidance will be given to any one interested. In addition the club are looking for new players for the Under 9s teams for next season ,so any boy or girl who is under the age of 9 on the 31st August is also invited to turn up for the training.
If further information is required please telephone either the Chairman Paul Clarke 01282-771832 ,Treasurer Geoff Lambert 01282-771442 or John Leaver 01254 884073
Just heard there was an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield. 3.1415927 dead.
"SIMONSTONE TENNIS CLUB The Tennis Club has been in continuous existence since the 1920’s. It started with a couple of grass courts and a hired gardener. Now it has 4 hard courts, a large pavilion for the Members and a car park for some 20 cars. But where is this active club that few people have seen? Well, it is approached from Carleton Avenue, through a farm gate and up a track, which is also a right of way, for 250m. It has some of the finest views around here. In fact, walk a further 250m and you reach Whins Lane that runs across the top of Read and Simonstone. The courts are maintained by the Club members with the occasional help when available from the Ribble Valley local authority. The courts are reserved at set times for the club members who play social tennis with whoever turns up. On mid week evenings, club members play competitive tennis in the Burnley Evening League. The courts are always open, other than at the set times, for anyone to play tennis by bringing their own balls and rackets. The club has a fully trained LTA Tennis Coach, Christine Bartrop, who organises weekly classes for coaching Juniors, and is available to coach others by appointment. The club is well known for its friendliness and happy atmosphere, and encourages families to join and take an active part in proceedings. The membership, at around 45, is not getting any younger and needs more young people to join the club. If anyone is interested, why not give the Chairman, Tony Seaford, a ring on 01282 773198. Everyone can be assured of a warm welcome at this valuable village asset."
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