“Bawl-mer” crabs
Know your green chile from your red. Color changes occur as they ripen. Be really cool and order “Christmas” (half red and half green) chiles.
TEXAS
Mexican Martini
MONTREAL
Wisdom From Austin: Try the Austin-invented Mexican martini, a gigantic margarita in a martini glass with olives on a spear. Wear anything, as long as it’s burnt orange — the color of the University of Texas. And when in doubt, put jalapenos on just about any food.
NORTHEAST BALTIMORE
Townie Talk: If you say you’re staying in “the Hamptons” on Long Island, you’re busted. Residents specify the village name, such as East Hampton or Southampton. New York City subway maps show blue, red, and green lines, but locals always use the letters and numbers of the routes.
NEW ORLEANS AUSTIN
In Baltimore (pronounced “Bawl-mer,” the largest city in “Merlin”), soft-shell crabs are fried or sautéed whole and eaten on a plate with knife and fork. Hard-shell crabs are strictly bare-hands food, with the help of a mallet and a cracker.
“Christmas” Chiles
their numbers. And by all means, don’t ask about “The Bridge to Nowhere” unless you really want to get an Alaskan going. Some food facts: Fish cheek, the most prized part of the fi sh, is tender and sweet. You can get reindeer in restaurants. Some kinds of smoked salmon require a little chewing. Whale blubber requires a lot of chewing.
NEW MEXICO TOURIST TRAP M
ispronounce these names and you might as well be wearing a big red T
(for Tourist) on your chest: Boca Raton, Fla., does not rhyme with
baton. Say “Ra-TONE.” In New Orleans, street names can be
tricky. It’s “Bur-GUN-dee,” not like the wine, and Calliope is “KALE-ee-oap.” Biloxi, Miss., doesn’t appreciate sounding like smoked salmon. There’s no lox in “Buh-LUCK-see.” Ybor City, Fla. (once the cigar capital
of the world, and home of America’s finest Cuban sandwich) is pronounced “EE-bore.” In Pittsburgh, Carnegie (as in steel
Don’t Go TOO Native: It’s fi ne to buy Native American-made silver and turquoise with the ATADA (Antique Tribal Arts Dealers Association) sign of authenticity. Head-to-toe drenching in Indian jewelry screams tourist. Visitors may consider it politically correct to call Pueblo, Navajo, and Apache tribal members “Native Americans,” but many actually prefer “Indians.”
magnate Andrew) is “Car-NAY-gee,” not “CAR-ne-gee,” as the New York hall is pronounced.
The Strip in Pittsburgh isn’t what you’d think. The early 1800s factory district is getting repurposed with interesting shops, ethnic groceries, and trendy residences. Try the authentic Pittsburgh trucker’s meal, the Primanti sandwich. Don’t order fries on the side. They’re already in the sandwich, along with meat, cheese, coleslaw, and tomatoes. The dress code for this meal — and just about everything else — is a Steelers jersey.
QUEBEC
Learning the Lingua Franca: Non- French speakers will have a hard time passing as a resident, but watch the eyes of Canadians roll if you pronounce Quebec’s largest city as “MON-treal.” Follow the locals and say “MUN-treal.” Confi dential to English-speakers:
Make sure people understand that you’re from the United States, not from elsewhere in Canada. Americans are welcomed with open arms. English-speakers from
elsewhere in Canada? Not always.
REPORTER’S NOTE: Thanks to my colleagues in the Society of American Travel Writers, who shared some of the most egregious tourist faux pas observed in their regions: Beth Addondo and Laura Martone, New Orleans; Molly Blaisdell, Laurie Armstrong and R.C. Staab, San Francisco; Deb Hickok, Alaska; Tom Adkinson, Biloxi; Nina Laramore, Sonoma; Sally Moore, New Mexico; Peter Rothholz and Mike Luongo, New York; Janet Fullwood, New York and California; Hélèna Katz and Paul Glassman, Quebec; Kerri Holden, Austin; Kristin Gladfelter, Seattle; Julie Abramovic, Pennsylvania; Travis Claytor and Roberta Sandler, Florida; and Fyllis Hockman, Maryland.
MARCH 2013 | NEWSMAX MAXLIFE 77
MAP/DORLING KINDERSLEY/GETTY IMAGES / MONTREAL, CRABS/ISTOCKPHOT0 BEIGNETS/KRISTA ROSSOW/NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC/GETTY IMAGES CHILES/BLAINE HARRINGTON/AGE FOTOSTOCK/SUPERSTOCK
“ben-YAY”
“MUN-treal”
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