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WHY SO SERIOUS? some fun. Just get over yourself a little. I


Now, you may well question the hypocrisy of an opinion piece in a dance music mag that is ranting against opinions within dance music, but let’s break it down a little. Dance music is about dancing; it’s a release from the daily grind, an escapist relief from your troubles, a hedonistic celebration of repetitive beats and sounds that melt minds and twist lemons.


This is not global politics or local government policy... dance music is what we have to forget all of that, and just HAVE A GOOD TIME. It’s not opinions per se that get our proverbial goat; this mag is full of them and just as well too. Nope, what really narks are those lofty, high- minded and righteous ramblings that seem to spill


s there anything quite as pointless as a loudly trumpeted, absurdly self- righteous opinion about dance music? EDM is ruining the world, Skrillex has ruined dubstep, Deadmau5 is all that’s wrong with the world… seriously, just shut up, people. Go read a book. Have


Dance music is about fun and celebration — not mud-slinging and squabbling, reckons this month’s Rant ‘N’ Rave columnist…


out of the self-styled “truth-sayers”. The keyboard warriors and EDM snobs of this world. The opinion- as-fact delusions of men and women that believe they have some sort of higher level insight to the world of dance music, when all they actually have is a half-arsed opinion and a non-existent sex life.


Worse still is the public cyber argument about dance music. Loudly sounding off like some out-of-touch politician about something as subjective as repetitive electronic beats has only one tangible effect; to make you look, well, a bit of a tit. Engaging in a mud-slinging dialogue about these non-issues is the equivalent of two snotty schoolkids shouting ‘your mum’ jokes at each other in the playground. And yet the rampant (ab)use and global immediacy of Twitter/blogs has seen a proliferation of celebrity (in the loosest sense) feuds between the dance music world’s truthsayers; Sneak vs The Swedes, Deadmau5 vs A Guy Called Gerald, The World’s Enlightened Dance Music Journalists vs Deadmau5’s Album. All of them vaguely amusing, all of them utterly, painfully pointless.


Does Deadmau5’s change-the-record rant about DJs just playing other people’s records take anything away from the magic that so many clubbers experienced when they first heard David Mancuso/Larry Levan/Danny Tenaglia /Sasha in their respective pomps? Does it fuck. Does A Guy Called Gerald’s denouncement of Deadmau5’s not-so-live live show (and very existence) take anything away from the impact (and monumental fanbase) that one man and his mau5head


Just think about it. The Top 100 DJs poll is a popularity contest based on the votes of the world’s dance music community — of all ages. Is it really that baffling that an EDM-obsessed kid from Texas is voting for Skrillex or the Swedes when his introduction to dance music was ‘Bangarang’ and ‘Save The World’ rather than ‘Analogue Bubblebath’ and ‘Chime’??


commands in the world of electronic music? Or the fact that said Mau5’s music is quite good “if you like that sort of thing”? At any rate, even if you disagree, haven’t these people got better things to do with their time than spend extreme portions of their day squabbling over it? Jesus H. Christ. These are grown adults and professional musicians.


Integrity is admirable, opinions essential, but if you take this shit THAT seriously (or are stupid enough to think that everyone else should think the same way as you about music), then maybe it’s time to get a life. Acid house used to be about openness and celebration. Now it’s all about petty point scoring and uninformed slatings. Once again, this year’s Top 100 poll has brought a rash of these righteous know-alls to preach their sermon from the safe, cyber soapbox of social media... Completely missing its point in the process.


Just think about it. The Top 100 DJs poll is a popularity contest based on the votes of the world’s dance music community — of all ages. Is it really that baffling that an EDM-obsessed kid from Texas is voting for Skrillex or the Swedes when his introduction to dance music was ‘Bangarang’ and ‘Save The World’ rather than ‘Analogue Bubblebath’ and ‘Chime’? Is it that big a deal, either way? Seems like some people have conveniently forgotten their teen years dancing round their bedroom to 2 Unlimited’s ‘No Limit’ and Haddaway cassette tapes. Or maybe that was just us! Either way, the only way to change it is to vote. And if you don’t want to do that, maybe just go on with your day… like we said, this really isn’t global politics. And anyone with a right-mind following the disturbing ramblings of a certain Mr Romney, will know that IS something worth having an opinion about.


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