MEMORY CARE
5 Tips for Communicating With a Loved One Experiencing Memory Loss
By Jane Adler F
ew experiences can be more upsetting than the gradual loss of a loved one to Alzheimer’s disease. As memory
fades, the loved one becomes less and less recognizable as the person we once knew. Understandably, family members and
friends may want to avoid spending time with their loved one because they don’t know how to react or what to say. But there are approaches that can help turn anxious encounters into meaningful connections. It starts with validation, according to Rita
Altman, senior vice president of memory care & program services at Sunrise Senior Living. Validation is an empathetic form of communication, originally developed by Naomi Feil, which allows us to join the loved one’s world instead of trying to bring them back to our reality. This validation method of communica- tion has been formalized by the Validation Training Institute, a nonprofit organization
1. Center yourself.
When you feel yourself getting frustrated, stop and take some deep centering breaths. This clears the mind and helps you remain calmer and open to the experience—important skills when communicating with someone with memory loss.
2. Empathize.
Give the person your attention. Do not interrupt or correct what they say. Tune in to their emotions. Instead of ignoring their feelings if they seem sad, acknowledge it with words and expressions. Maintain eye contact at their eye level, and use a gentle touch to reassure them and provide a sense of security.
46 SENIOR LIVING EXECUTIVE / ISSUE 3 2017 Rita Altman, Sunrise Senior Living
that offers training and certification in the practice. Sunrise Senior Living became an Authorized Validation Organization through the Institute in 2010, and Sunrise has established a formal validation training program for its professional caregivers.
3. Avoid using reality. Unless the person is in the very early
stages of memory loss and wants to be reminded of a date or other reality-based topic, avoid trying to orient them to reality. While it may seem like a good idea to bring them back to the present, it can become frustrating and lead to arguments. Instead, try to enter their world.
4. Ask open questions. Conversations are best started with
questions that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” For example, try saying: “Tell me about your mother.” An open-ended inquiry like this can spark long-term memories that are more accessible than recent events for those
Altman recently hosted an interactive
course on validation communication spon- sored by Sunrise in Playa Vista, Calif. Below are five tips she shared on how to improve communication with a loved one suffering from memory loss.
with memory loss. If they ask for a loved one who has passed away, ask them to tell you more about the person. Don’t try to correct them if the details aren’t accurate. Rephrase and repeat their comments. This helps them know that they’ve been heard and that you have acknowledged what they’ve said.
5. Use music.
Singing a song that your loved one remembers from the past can help build a bridge of meaningful communication. Music often taps into emotions and provides a calming effect. Ask about their favorite songs or music. Enjoy the connection that music can provide in the moment you’re together.
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68
