Flourishing Families Rethinking Our Christmas List


by Dave McVety Active Faith in the Family


Tis time of year we begin to ask our children and grandchildren what they want for Christmas. Or maybe grandparents ask the grandchildren’s parents, hoping to surprise the kids on Christ- mas morning. As much of a blessing as it is to see the joy on the faces of children on Christmas morning, I can’t help but feel like something is missing in how we do presents at Christmas time. I don’t know about you, but for us, our kids start telling us what they want for next Christmas


almost as soon as last Christmas is over. Maybe it’s our fault for distracting them throughout the year with statements like “maybe for Christmas” when they tell us they want some special gadget or toy. When “gimme” lists are a high priority, can we blame our kids for thinking Christmas is all


about them and what they get? As adults, somewhere along the way, we (hopefully) adjusted our thinking from what we will get


to what we will give. I sometimes wonder though, if that was a natural thing or simply a response we had to cope with our discontent and disillusionment with the “magic” of Christmas morning. Whatever the cause of our shiſt may be, it could be that we need to adjust our approach to


Christmas with our kids. For the last number of years our family has done a three-giſt system to mimic the three giſts Jesus


got on Christmas morning. We give our children: 1) a need, 2) a want, and 3) a spiritual giſt. Tis has helped us be more intentional against the consumer-driven Christmas we fight in our culture. It strikes me that by asking our kids what they want, we are allowing them to be the center of the universe in that moment. But that’s where Jesus belongs, isn’t it? Especially on Christmas morning! Maybe there is more that we can do. What if we took the time to consider why God sent his Son to earth for us. Jesus came to


reconcile the world to himself, to sacrifice himself for us, and to ultimately show us love in a way that only he could do. Essentially he put us first — the opposite of what we tend to encourage from our children by asking what they want. So what if we started to shiſt the question to “What would you like to give for Christmas this


year?” and followed that question up with others like: “What would help ______ feel appreciated and loved?” “How can you show _____ that they matter this Christmas?” Tese questions might help our children to develop a curiosity about what others see in them and how others show love. Tey might also increase the anticipation about what might be under the tree for them Christmas morning. What if we make Christmas into a celebration of giving, affirming and loving others by


asking these kinds of questions? How would that change Christmas? How would it help our children to honour and reflect Jesus? A new focus might even lead to a renewed state of wonder, anticipation and excitement for more than just what one will get on Christmas morning. However you choose to do Christmas this year, my prayer for you is that you would do it


intentionally, and that you find your heart and the hearts of your children and grandchildren full and reflecting on Jesus’ birth. Sincerely,


David McVety, Counsellor at Trive Terapeutic Counselling and School Counsellor at Langley Christian School


Fellowship Focus, November/December 2018 23


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