SELF-MANAGEMENT
esteem would appraise the situation. Is the customer for or against him? Neither, to start with. The customer may never have seen the sales rep before, and so has no preconceived notion of performance or reliability. The salesperson is “starting fresh.” How will they be viewed when they make their presentation? This is busi- ness, not a personality contest. The prospect wants to deal with someone who is competent and knowledge- able. Being a “nice guy with a winning smile” helps, but the sales rep with high self-esteem doesn’t base his performance solely on the buyer’s at- traction to personal charm. Will he be able to persuade the
prospect? Much of that depends on the prospect. But the salesperson with high self-esteem will, on closing their presentation, feel confident they’ve done the best job possible. If the prospect buys, great! If not, the sales rep analyzes his or her performance to make improvements for their next meeting with the buyer, then moves on to another sales prospect. They don’t pick themselves or the buyer apart. The active ingredient in manage- ment of self-esteem is choice. You can choose to regulate your feelings and
self-esteem or let events do this for you. Recall that, as a child, you relied on your parents to help foster feelings of self-worth. To some degree, this continues into adulthood: with em- ployers commenting on and (hope- fully) praising your work. However, you control the quality of your work, how you feel about your performance, etc.; hence, you supervise the esteem derived from your sales career. The less you participate in this essential management function, the less satis- faction you will feel – and the lower your self-esteem.
SELF-EXPECTATIONS
Imagine you’d been asked to train a race horse. Notwithstanding the fact that you may know nothing about it, you would probably start with some basic principles of common sense. If the horse were young, you’d expect him to make mistakes initially. You’d start him running short distances, then work up to a goal, focusing on his potential. Finally, you’d recognize that the horse would need praise and en- couragement in order to be motivat- ed. Horses respond to feelings, too. Makes sense, doesn’t it? So why treat yourself with any less interest or
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concern than you would a horse? The expectations you have of yourself can be used to regulate your own self- esteem. Here are some examples: • Expectation of one’s ability. Expect to make mistakes, to lose sales from time to time – and learn to correct your errors. Ex- pecting to be perfect is the surest route to an asylum.
• Expectation to grow beyond the present situation. Focus on what you can do, not on what you can’t. What’s more important: giving one good presentation and getting the order, or rushing through six calls and losing every sale? Concentrate on refining your present talents, then expand them.
• Expectation to focus on one’s potential. Other people tend to view us by our past accomplish- ments, while we tend to judge ourselves by what we will do in the future. Healthy self-esteem comes from knowing what you want and not from dwelling on what you don’t want.
• Expectation to focus on your need to feel good. There’s no law against it. Each time we satisfy our need to feel good, we create a deposit of happiness. Each time we label ourselves bad or attack our self-esteem, we deplete our most valuable resource and risk poor personal and professional performance.
YOUR OWN SELF-ESTEEM MANAGEMENT PROGRAM Feelings are contagious. So is es- teem. Your positive self-esteem will lift the spirits of others as surely as a smile generates more smiles. Con- versely, low self-esteem draws out the worst in others.
Buyers can sense the tension between your real self and any mask you may choose to wear. They, too, may don a mask in your presence, but they won’t feel comfortable until all pretense is dropped. Your good feelings about your- self will be highly visible to others,
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