the impression of invincibility – and half-believing their own illusions of superiority – this sales rep may utterly lack self-confidence. They are aggressive rather than assertive, motivated by a frantic need to prove something, driven by a deep-seated need to overcome inadequacy. Does this person have high self-esteem? Obviously not. Self-acceptance requires no proof or urgency to impress. What about the self-effacing sales


rep who withdraws from life’s fast pace by operating on the lowest denominator of job performance? Some might say this sales rep “ac- cepts” himself, slowly progressing on an even keel. Actually, this type only accepts his limitations. Scratch the surface and you’ll probably find a bitter soul who needs to “get even” with customers – tough and friendly ones alike – by giving as little of themselves as possible. This type of sales rep ironically finds justification in claiming they’re “too good for the rest of the world!” But, of course, what they’re getting even for are their feelings of self-doubt and self-rejection. Those who suffer from low self- esteem feel bad about, even reject, themselves. Most often they reject oth- ers, too – including sales prospects.


IDENTIFYING LOW SELF-ESTEEM Sales representatives who find them- selves gazing across a cold desk into the colder eyes of a difficult client may wonder three things: 1. Is the customer going to accept me?


2. How will I be viewed when I make my presentation?


3. Will I be able to persuade the prospect?


There are significant differences in how sales reps with high self-esteem and those with low self-esteem ma- neuver in this situation. Let’s examine low self-esteem.


In our hypothetical situation, the


sales rep with low self-esteem fol- lows certain behavior patterns when


‘‘


The purpose of life is not to be happy. The purpose of life is to matter, to be productive, to have it make some


difference that you lived at all. LEO ROSTEN


confronting a “cold fish” prospect. His mind whips into high gear, con- necting with all the unhappy experi- ences of the past that occurred with similar prospects. While reeling off his presentation, the sales rep hears an internal monologue that undermines any effort to look and sound convinc- ing about the product. “This guy is just like the last prospect who turned me down,” he may think. “I’m wasting my time.”


Whether or not the salesperson


realizes it, the impact of negative self-talk is communicated to the buyer through nonverbal signals. The buyer gets the underlying message.


WEARING MASKS Sales reps with low self-esteem com- monly develop a magician’s chest of tricks to cope with (but not solve) their problem. Take the so-called “Super Rep.” This person often creates a separate persona they feel is more ac- ceptable to buyers than their real self. With every “success,” this type


grows increasingly divorced from reality. “They don’t like the real me – only my mask,” he thinks. “If they only knew how unimportant and worthless I am, they’d never buy from me.” Regardless of the number of sales racked up, Super Rep feels little satisfaction. The reason? Credit for their achievements goes to the phony outer shell. That’s one form of misad- aptation.


PLAYING IT SAFE


Another occurs with “Humble Rep.” This salesperson’s motto is “play it safe, keep distant, don’t get in- volved,” or, “if I don’t try, I won’t fail.”


How true. Unfortunately, the other half of the maxim is that, if you don’t try, you won’t make the sale either. Humble Rep can float along for years – selling just enough to get by, finding a safe and comfortable niche in the lower ranks of sales performance, and never breaking out of their old groove. Focusing on the past and negative self-talk leads this type of salesperson into retreat. In fact, you might say they have already retired, mentally.


The negative aspects of low self- esteem permeate all phases of one’s life. Among peers, the sales rep may “put down” their customers. At home, they’ll be equally critical of their fellow sales reps. Negativism stemming from low self-esteem may surface in actively aggressive behav- ior. The frustrated salesperson often loses his temper, insults others, hangs up the phone, or refuses to talk. Though he makes every effort to avoid discussing the problem, the message comes through loud and clear. “I feel bad about myself,” he’s saying. “I need help with my self- esteem.”


The solution is easy to identify,


harder to implement. Super Rep and Humble Rep have to stop wearing masks and playing games. Self-esteem management can


hardly be learned by reading a book or an article. Learning about one’s self-esteem is part of a personal growing experience – and that’s what makes it so unique and precious.


NURTURING SELF-ESTEEM Returning to our model sales call, let’s see how the salesperson with high self-


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