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Author ofHOWTOCREATE A LOVELIHOOD: PROSPERINGBY LIVINGONPURPOSE


IR: In section 2 of your book, where you focus on


purpose, you have a chapter title that caught my eye, “Thank God it’sMonday.” What’s that about? CB: There’s an international restaurant chain with nearly


900 stores in 60 countries ringing up revenues of some $250 million dollars called TGI Fridays that used to be called Thank God It’s Friday. The concept behind the chain, of course, is that people can’t wait for Friday to come around each week so that they don’t have to go in for eight hours and do work they don’t really like doing. My chapter, being grateful for Monday to come around,


speaks to the pleasure one gets doing the work that one loves to do. I used to take off only one day a week because I loved my work somuch that I preferred to do it than just hang out.You’ll know that our society has become more enlightened, with people working more on purpose, when a restaurant chain can come into being and thrive that’s called ThankGod It’sMonday. There’s also a chapter called “How to Discover Your


Purpose.” How does one discover their purpose? The chapter grew organically out of processes I’ve


incorporated in two different workshops I’ve been giving for many years: “HowtoDiscover&LiveYour Purpose” and “Dis- cover Why You’re Here.” It takes people step- by-step from their passions to their dreams, and uses their imaginations to conceive the kind of life that they’re not dying—but living— to live. During this pandemic we hear a lot of statistics about


unemployment, with so many businesses furloughing workers or laying them off altogether. But you have a chapter on under-employment.What does that mean? Unemployment iswhen a person is out ofwork.Under-em-


ployment is when a person is doing work that that doesn’t do justice to who he or she truly is. It’s all the actresses who are waitresses, all the musicians who are carpenters, all the writers who are proofreaders. Asociety certainly suffers when people are unemployed and under-employed. Aperson’s bank account suffers when he’s unemployed, but his soul suffers when he’s underemployed. Another chapter title that caught my eye was one called


“Writing YourObituary.” Your book sounds so positive, why a chapter on something as negative as death? That’s a fair question. The truth is that this chapter is ac-


tually quite positive. In it, I encourage readers to write an obit- uary about their life as they would like it to read. What that brings up—and this is where the positive element enters into the picture—are all the things they haven’t yet done, the achievements that haven’t taken place so far. The exercise shows the gap between the life that is currently being lived and the life that one would like to live. And that creates a very positive opportunity—to narrow the gap, so that the life one wants to live is the life that one comes to live. You have a chapter called “From Melodrama to Mellow


Dharma.” Catchy title, but what does it mean? Dharma is a Sanskrit word that has numerous meanings,


among thembeing thework forwhich you aremost suited, your raison d’etre, as the French like to say; your reason for being. The word connotes the value that your purposeful work has for the society in which you live but also for the cosmos of which you’re a part. We’ve all been blessed with God-given talents,


andwhenwe employ them—note the termemploy, as compared to use—then we’re making a maximum contribution to our world. If we do what we love as a hobby on a Saturday after- noon, we get some pleasure out of it, but that pleasure doesn’t often extend to other people in our lives. But when we bring what we love to do into the marketplace and the marketplace pays us for our gifts then we have employed them more fully. Instead of expressing themfor four hours on aweekend,we can express them for forty hours during the week. As you can see, that’s a tenfold increase in using our talents. I use the term melodrama in the title because when


people are not utilizing their God-given talents they tend to be cranky and unhappy, and often abuse substances that can be harmful for their spiritual development. But when they do use these natural gifts they’re more happy and peaceful or, in a word, mellow. Probably the chapter that really jumped off the page for


me was the one called “What Rudolph the Red-Nosed Rein- deer Can Teach You About Your Purpose.” Now that’s a mouthful. We’re in the Christmas season as people are read- ing this interview, so they’ll be singing about this Christmas carol character.What does he have to do with our purpose in life?


So very much. If you remember back to the lyrics,


Rudolph’s reindeer colleagues didn’t want to play with him because he was so very different from them with that shiny red honker of his. The carol could be looked on as yet another example of prejudice extending to non-humans—“they used to laugh and call him names”--but there’s a deeper message embedded in it if you have eyes to see and ears to hear. Go on. It has all to do with his very important point of difference. Ya see, there was this very foggy Christmas eve when it was


really hard to see. None of the other reindeer could provide Santawith the necessary light to travel through the thick air. But Rudolph “with his nose so bright,” a nose that glowed, could. The point is that his unique facial feature gave Santa and the other reindeer the guidance they most needed on this most auspicious day of the year. And as a result all of “the reindeer loved him” and recognized that he’ll “go down in history.”And so can youwhen you use your unique gifts, the things thatmake you different, thatmake youwho you truly are andwhat you’re here to uniquely bring into the world.


Life Coach Cary Bayer has


worked with Oscar-winnersAlanArkin (Little Miss Sunshine), Pietro Scalia (JFK, BlackHawkDown), Emmy-win- ners comedian/directorDavid Steinberg (Academy Awards presentations), and Judy Henderson (Homeland.. How to Create a Lovelihood: Prospering by Living on Purpose is available for $20, plus $3.50 for shipping and handling via paypal at successaerobics@aol.comor by calling (845) 664-1883.


InnerRealmMagazine.com • 845-359-6902 • 9


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