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"No Bad News is...Good News!" TM


The Punitentiary #2 From Jack Beymer, owner, Big Oak Coins in Santa Rosa, CA.


“Lexophile" describes those that have a love for words, such as “you can tune a pi- ano, but you can't tuna fish",


“To write with a broken pencil is pointless."


England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .


Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.


This girl today said she rec- ognized me from the Vege- tarians Club,


but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.


I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.


A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.


When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.


I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.


A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.


A will is a dead giveaway.


With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.


Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.


A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.


The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.


He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.


ANNOUNCEMENT 3 Send yours: upbeat@upbeattimes.com


Napa High School Athletic Boosters Crab Feed is Feb 22, 2020


from Pat Gorman of Napa~707-363-5412 ~ gus.gorman.pg@gmail.com


Napa, CA. ~ The Napa High School Athletic Boosters will hold their annual “Blue for Gold” (crab feed and auction) on February 22, 2020.


This will be their third year at this fabulous venue, the Generations Room in the Yountville Community Hall. They sold out last year and are planning on 250 to 300 people to return in 2020. The purpose for the Napa


High Athletic Boosters, as a non-profit organization, shall be to foster amateur athletic competition and sportsman- ship and to develop the youth of today into good citizens of


the future by providing spirit, enthusiasm, model behavior and financial support for the total athletic program of all sports at Napa High School. Youth sports not only pro- vides a healthy outlet for the youth of Napa, it contrib- utes to the values of self-es- teem, self-confidence, and teamwork for the youth of Napa.


The Napa Boosters


contributes to over 800 ath- letes every year at NHS alone. Thank you Paul Doyle for putting this in for us! ~ My pleasure Pat!...anything I can do for people helping people! ~ Paul Andrew Doyle


I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was wearing absolutely nothing! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"


Pareidolia February:


Our March 2020 paper arrives by March 3, 2020! JOKES & Humor #7


"Lady in the curtain" ~ from Joyce Berry of Sonoma County


Did you have a pareidolia? Send to:


upbeat@upbeattimes.com Note: (parr-i-DOH-lee-ə) is the tendency for incorrect perception of a stimulus as an object, pattern or meaning known to the observer, such as seeing shapes in clouds, seeing faces in inanimate objects or abstract patterns, or hearing hidden messages in music. Pareidolia can be considered a subcategory of apophenia.


Pg 32 • UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • FEBRUARY 2020 "LOVE IS THE EASIEST EMOTION FOR ME TO SHARE, BECAUSE IT'S JOY IN ITS PUREST FORM" ~ pad


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