StaR ChartinG ...continued from page 29 by: Zak Zaikine of Sebastopol, CA. ~

elcome to Cancer Ev- erybody and happy sol-

stice! How are you all? Have you been thinking strongly of a dear old friend? Isn’t it amazing, they have been thinking


about you as well. And if they haven’t recently

you, muster up some courage

contacted and drop

them a line. Better still, call them so- nar style. Cancer is long distance and maybe just maybe you will get to spend your birthday with them and share issues you never thought you would. Make it a beach party.

Now if you have emotional issues with this friend, sister, mother, refrigerator, feminine aspect of father or brother this is the ideal time to correct any misnomers/ directives or un- derstandings. Free the mem- ory elephant on your back. Cancer is feminine, she rules the moon and the light is soft and reflective so any confrontational

energies can

be bounced off of something. Every sign has its’ own bag of tricks Cancer can move lightning fast at a perfect right angle changing the dynamic immediately. Practice makes


DizKlaimurz Our entire paper is strictly for entertainment purposes and nearly 100% positive in nature. From time to time there are a few mistakes, and occasionally a few spelling errors. Also, some of the information/jokes/facts may or may not be true as well as the sources of infor- mation that are contributed. We can guarantee with certainty that we thoroughly check all sources of information. Sum thymes wii allsew mzspell uh bunch uv wurds tu dryve peepull crayzee. Hope u lyk et!!! Just remember not to take life to seriously. For those of you who r critics...our fan base is 99.999% happy! We mostly hope that after reading this paper you might smile a bit more, learn something new or be a bit more inspired by life. Give a copy of Upbeat Times to someone would could use GOOD NEWS! ~ Paul Andrew Doyle

sign, powerful in a personally global kind of way. She keeps home in the fourth house of family; his/her and they sto- ries as far back as you can cellularly remember. The an- cestors are calling future gen- erations-one claw talking to another. That leaves the here and now “us” building the shell and feeding the narrative as it were. click – dash- click bouncing off the moon like surface. It’s all quite poetic really when you can get your nose out of your phone and head out in the evening for some nice moon bathing. If you do any kind of meditation this would also be the ideal time to explore a new venue Cancers love to feed and nour- ish you, big bowls of insight and advice and usually so well

perfect and the playful ener- gies of her neighboring breth- ren- Gemini and Leo, are good reminders

to a sometimes

moody brooding aspect. Cancer the crab is a huge

intentioned. Because like we were just sayin’ they remem- ber everything, all of the de- tails in daisy-chain formation, ultimately the mothers of the universe and we love them dearly. Wonderful astrol- ogy answers the mother with the father

at this particu- larly

time of year. Here comes the sun to

dry things out a bit. Welcome Leo! As your travel agents we recommend taking all of the succulent insights borne by crab out onto the light bright beach and the stage of the board walk. What ever your mode of strut have fun with it. Perform it and enjoy yourself. That will be me sitting on a bench wiggling my eyebrows. Happy birthday genius crabs and saucy lions. Until next month remember you have all the time in the world to accomplish what you have set out to do. Stowe away that lovely

piece of cheesecake

you got from the beach party. Oh, and that little flag in the sand castle remember to put your name on it.

1860's Piano For Sale!

varietal. It is even possible to match desired wine styles of a single variety with different altitudes and their respective microclimates. “As is typi- cal with mountain climates, Mendoza enjoys a wide tem- perature


celestially elemental


daytime highs and nighttime lows. This wide thermal am- plitude between bright sunny days and cool crisp nights al- lows for gradual ripening of the fruit. This factor combines with the typically mild harvest season to allow for prolonged cluster hang-time. The result- ing fruit is well balanced with fully ripe, soft and almost sweet tannins.” Whatever our wine regions

are experiencing north of the equator or south of the equa- tor, in weather speak, south of the equator is now six months ahead of the northern hemi- sphere… (Plan vacations ac- cordingly, too.) See the rest of the story at org. Search under: are-wines- really-seasonal-or-reasonable- while-an-equator-separates- all-of-it

The Upbeat Outback • Miscellaneous & More! Juicy Tales

JOKES & Humor #6

Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law? He was given two consecutive sentences.

Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.

The tree that was creating energy was turned into a power-plant.

Upbeat Café ...continued from page 3

from just about any aspect of life, chances are we can make a spot. From time to time we get submissions that may not be appropriate for anyone. We politely let them know that we appreciate

their efforts and

recommend other local pub- lications in Sonoma County who love that type of stuff. Or, we may even ask for a re-write and then it might just turn out fine. Our thought is still, 'If you don't have anything good to say, don't say it! If you've got some advice that helps a person, or written content that can make a difference in our lives...send it in! For over 21 years this for- mula has continued to work awesome!

May this issue

find you well!

Upbeat Times read by the dogs! $7100 or best offer! Ask for Paul (Upbeat)707-494-1767

1862-1868. Piano In great Shape! This a private sale. Call Me for an appointment! We found the same piano for Sale online at $39,000!!

I'm Liberace without a piano. ~ Paul Lynde Rascal loves the Upbeat Times! UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • JULY 2019 • Pg 31

Zak Zaikine

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