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12 • September 2018 • UPBEAT TIMES, INC.® JOKES & Humor # 3


After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counselling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured. Finally, after allowing this for a suffi cient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, ‘this is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you see to it?’


‘Well,’ he said, ‘I can drop her off here on Mondays and


Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I go fi shing.’


Fall UPBEAT ENTERTAINMENT Guide ~ What’s Up! SONOMA COUNTY & BEYOND


Upbeat on Anderson Island, Washington!


September 15th Cam & Kendra Parry taking a moment to read the Upbeat


Times. Cam & Kendra are former Sonoma Sounty residents who now reside in Coos Bay, Oregon. ~ Cam is a friend & host of Hooked on Oregon, KWRO in Coos Bay, OR. Listened to every Thursday 3-5pm. Listen on the web. Its a positive show!


FISH FRY Fund Drive Sebastopol, CA. ~ AT THE MASONIC CENTER IN SE- BASTOPOL, LOCATED AT 373 NORTH MAIN STREET ACROSS FROM SAFE- WAY. A FISH FRY WITH FRENCH FRYS AND COLD SLAW, DRINKS AND DES- ERT AVAILIBLE FOR PUR- CHASE. ADULTS $15, CHIL- DERN 5-10 YEARS OLD $7.50, UNDER fi ve FREE! Call for tickets 707-823-3520 or 707-321-9479, also avail- able at Sebastopol cleaners, Sebastopol, or on line htts:// fi shfry@brownpaperticktes.


BILLY BOB’S ANNUAL September 15th


“Bill & Dave Hikes” at Sugarloaf Ridge State Park


Kenwood, CA. ~ Please join us Saturday, September 15, for a hike to Brushy Peaks at Sugarloaf Ridge State Park. Meet us at 9:45 AM at the White Barn parking lot for a prompt 10 AM departure. This is an ambitious hike for those who want to see the en- tire rim of the park and enjoy lunch, and the spectacular vis- tas, on the ridge top separat- ing Napa and Sonoma coun- ties. This nine mile strenuous hike has a total elevation gain of 1800 feet and will last ap- proximately fi ve hours. Wear sturdy hiking shoes and bring a lunch with plenty to drink. Please consider carpooling and note there is an $8 vehicle admission fee.


An independent local Community Bank since 1890


Personal and Business Checking and Savings products and services: • Loans–Consumer and Business • Online Banking with Bill Pay and Paperless Statements–It’s the Greener way! • Youth Savings programs • ATM locations throughout Sonoma County for your convenience • A Customer Service team dedicated to answering your call before and after business hours


• We invite you to e-mail, call or visit us at any of our branches to answer your questions about how Exchange Bank can become your bank.


www.exchangebank.com 707.524.3000 or toll free 800.995.4066


12 • September 2018 • UPBEAT TIMES, INC.


Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning. ~ Bill Gates


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