16 • August 2018 • UPBEAT TIMES, INC.


August 11, 2018

Montgomery High School Alumni Car Show

Santa Rosa, CA. ~ Car show to celebrate Montgomery High School’s 60th birthday. Free admission. Entry fee for cars is $ 30. Come and help us celebrate

Montgomery High

School’s 60 years of excel- lence. Food, Music and beauti- fully restored cars. All car clubs welcome. MIke Francis. Email questions: mike@francisinsur- or call 707-321-4354

Through September 13th, 2018

Rockin’ the River: Community Concerts on the Guerneville Plaza

Guerneville, CA. ~ Rockin the River is a high octane family- friendly, dancin’-in-the-street party, featuring bands like Zepparella, the Everly Broth- ers Experience, Luvplanet and Coco

Montoya all summer

long. This FREE event runs every other through Sept 13 from 7-8:30pm on the Guern- eville Plaza at the intersec- tion of HW116 and Armstrong Woods Rd. More information at www.RockinTheRiver.US. See you there! ~ Kathy Ocean ~ kathy@communityconcerts. comor call 707-869-9403.

JOKES & Humor # 4

A judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and asks, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?”

“It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar,” she responded. “I mean,” he continued, “what are your relations like?” “I have an aunt and uncle and 12 cousins living here in town, as well as my husband’s parents.”

The judge took a deep breath and asked, “Do you have a real grudge?” “No, we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one be- cause we don’t have a car.”

“Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?” “Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music – all that hip hop and rap tap – but we can’t seem to do anything about it.”

“Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?” “Yes, he gets up every morning before I do and makes the coffee.”

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why in heck do you want a divorce?

“Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied.

“I’ve never wanted a divorce, my husband does. He says he can’t communicate with me.”

16 • August 2018 • UPBEAT TIMES, INC. “If you can’t change your fate, change your attitude.” ~ Amy Tan

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