UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • October 2017 • 29 Living the Upbeat Life STORY-TELLER


Q: I read a piece you wrote once for the Council On Aging monthly newspaper, about seniors and their reminiscing. I’d love to hear more about that. A: Thanks! Yes, about why seniors tell stories -over and over! It’s no secret that older folks like to remi- nisce. Senior living facilities often provide programs dedicated to that proclivity. Current or past events, anecdotes, music and songs can be used to elicit memories --and tales of both the short and tall variety. But have you ever wondered why seniors are so involved in telling their stories? Or why even men- tally sharp oldsters often repeat themselves: “Mommy why does Grandpa have to tell us the same ole story, over and over again?” asks a baffled and frustrated grand- child. “Guess they have nothing else to do,” offer skeptical Gen- eration X-ers, Baby Boomers and sharp older adults, alike.


I’d still be clueless about why, had it not been for a chance encounter with a bookstore $1 sale rack. How To Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders, by David Solie was a mind-bender for me. First was the insight


that, built into our Grand Design of Aging, is an actual developmen- tal task: to complete a life review. It’s in our genes to take time to sift through our memories and experi- ences to separate wheat from chaff. It’s beneficial to know what we’ve contributed to the greater good, and what our legacy might be. An- other benefit comes from clarify- ing what we personally value –and how we learned that --in order to pass it along as wisdom pearls to younger generations.


This review process takes place alongside the on-going learning and creating of new experienc- es, both in our outer and internal worlds. I call this phenomenon “growing elder.”


It’s much love-


lier, livelier and more accu- rate than just “growing old. “ Both the review process and the on-going newness may be dependent upon stories. Af- ter all, our lives are lived and understood through stories. Even songs –which remain with us in memory until the end-- are mini tales.


So, we revisit our stories as often as needed to distill an ‘aha’ about life or rekindle our hearts. And as repetition is common, we might need skills to handle it. Instead of tuning out or rushing the storyteller, there’s an antidote to potential listener boredom: offer heartfelt curiosity. Ask, “What is so important about that tale, Grandma, I’ve heard you tell it many times…” Or to a close friend: “That event must’ve really mattered to you: tell me more.” This kind of inter- viewing allows the teller to go deeper,


perhaps to extract an as-yet-undis- covered pearl embedded there in a piece of personal history.


“That’s


a great question!” is the response you want to get from any story- teller.


It can be great fun and very in- spirational to exchange stories and experiences. My own experimen- tal discussion group, “Remember When,” designed initially for the SRJC Older Adult Program lasted four years –two without me! [The mobile home park I taught in, kept


is on its way to being changed. Because you’ve changed, by believing. Once you’ve changed, other things start to


“Believe something and the Universe


follow. Isn’t that the way it works?” Diane Duane


“Life is worth living as long as there’s a laugh in it.” ~ L.M. Montgomery


it going after the JC lost its fund- ing for the class.] It was named after the phrase that keeps the stories popping, one memory trip- ping another person’s. Telling and listening with heart, opens trust,


by Marcia Singer www.lovearts.info


tion. May we each behold the liv- ing legacy that we are to the world and may our Life Story be bright and fulfilling. P.S. Got a Halloween story, or an Oktoberfest tale? ‘Tis the month to recall, and find some- one with ears eager to listen. Here’s two of my own. I once sent a beau a gag gift for Hal- loween. Punster that I am, I’d taken a hot dog, hollowed it out and stuck a note in it, say- ing “Happy Hollow Weenie.” The treat became a trick, since I hadn’t reckoned that the meat would be rotting, slimy and foul smelling by the time it arrived in the mail. –And the note, illegible! Another year, I had a par-


empathy and humor. It also fosters the social bonds and community so essential to well being –and to our growing elder task.


May each of us creating and har- vesting our lives be encouraged to freely share our stories with grace, aplomb and zest for the adventure of self discovery. May we sift and sort, embrace our unique life ex- periences, trust all that we are and still might become, and live to en- vision our last chapters as celebra-


ty. About an hour before my guests were to arrive, I discov- ered that my toilet wouldn’t flush. Dang, it was too late to cancel. But my friends were cool about it, suggesting we could just do our duty in the back yard, or knock on a neighbor’s door, if need be. As we sat in my living room hav- ing treats, someone suggested in- stead of ghost stories, we tell “poo” tales. It was hilarious, we laughed ourselves silly. –And amazingly, no one had need of a bathroom the entire time.


Shining deLight, Marcia Weird Facts & Trivia - 7


The state grass of Utah is Indian ricegrass. It was eaten by Native Americans and early pioneers.


In 1983 the Honeybee (Apis mellifera) was named the of- ficial State Insect of Utah.


In 1969, an Italian man was charged with selling a product described as grated Parmesan cheese -- which turned out to be grated umbrella handles!


National Fire Prevention


Week falls during the week of October 9 each year. It commemorates the Great Chicago Fire of 1871.


October in the Northern Hemisphere is similar to April in the Southern Hemisphere.


Zulla Haile, Owner of Personal Transport of Sonoma County.


I am Advertising in Upbeat Times To Attract More Customers!


I am advertising in the Upbeat Times to help attract more


customers to my new business, PERSONAL TRANSPORT. I


know it will take time. By invest- ing in advertising, I hope to in-


crease my business! Upbeat Times was very helpful in designing my ad. See page 8


Upbeat Times: 707-494-1767 UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • October 2017 • 29


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