Moments of boredom for me are few and far between — and


even those moments probably aren’t even boredom, but simply moments in my day when I have enough space and silence for a glimpse of the world around me. Te irony is that I actually have to re-train myself to be okay in those moments. I have to ignore my phone and leave the TV off and create space for the many benefits of stillness. Tis is especially beneficial for our children. Troughout the day we need to “unplug” from all devices, to


embrace “boredom” and foster creative development. We also need to process the day and deal with things that need to be addressed without distraction. Kids do not need to be constantly stimulated; instead they need space to freely play, spend time in relationships, and contemplate life. Without that space, our children find themselves in constant


states of anxiety and tension. We need to teach them how to decompress and embrace their boredom!


Relationship Children are born with an inner yearning for intimacy. Tey


need a relationship with their parents (or primary caregivers) and with each person in their family. Oſten when older children make choices in life that their parents don’t approve of, parents say, “But I didn’t raise them to be like that!” Unfortunately, as good as parents’ intentions may be, the reality is that they may not be raising their children at all. Raising children requires time, both quality, and quantity. As much as we think or hope that watching kids play ball or driving them from one activity to the next is time spent with them, it may not be. It is very easy to neglect the relationship in favor of activities. Our children may conclude that they need to perform in order to gain our attention. Yes, relationship can be difficult for single parents or parents


who have to work long hours. Yes, we may need to send our kids to programs to help balance the load. But it is especially import- ant to “collect” your children when they come home. Intention- ally debrief their day. Talk about random things. Laugh, play, and share heart matters. Do the best you can with the time you have, even if it’s intentional discussions while driving to those activities! Choosing to give your children the attention and time you do have, rather than taking them to an additional activity, will benefit them in incredible ways. By spending time with our kids away from other people or


structured/programmed activities, we let our kids know that we care about who they are, not just what they do. It leaves space and silence enough for us to be in each other’s presence and appreciate character traits and personality types — even opinions and inter-


ests. Our children need to be able to “rest in our presence” much like we are to rest in the presence of our Good Shepherd (Psalm 23). Having fun with our kids and playing with them is incredibly important to their development and their relationship with us. It is worth the time and effort! As the new school year begins and programs start, take the


time to pre-emptively decide to avoid overwhelming both your life and your children’s lives with too much. Where you can, leave space for play, connection, relationship and opportunity for awareness of God’s presence. Doing so will help your child blossom to their full potential.


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Fellowship Focus, September/October 2016 23


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